uneditedmara

I'VE MOVED!

2006-10-05T19:19:00.000+08:00

It's up and running and very purdy over at

www.uneditedmara.wordpress.com

Goodbye blogger.

We had some good times. But all good things must come to an end.

(Besides, you kept screwing me over. Bitch.)

2006-09-15T19:53:00.001+08:00

I've moved.

Come with, if you like.

BLOGGER IS A BITCH

2006-09-14T14:15:00.000+08:00

I'm not on hiatus. I'm just hiding somewhere else before I take a bat and smash Blogger's face in. If you wanna see the crib I've been hanging out at, contact me: maranavarro@gmail.com

"Let's hug it out, you little bitches."

9/11 (literally) Late Tribute

2006-09-12T17:55:00.000+08:00

Song Post

2006-09-12T17:37:00.000+08:00

To Make You Feel My Love
Josh Kelley

When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love

One night when the shadows and the stars appear
And theres no one there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love

Oh I know u havent made your mind up yet
But I will never do you wrong
I knew right from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind we'd be wrong

I'd go hungry I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
No there's nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love

hmmm.....

Oh when the storms raging on the open sea
And on the highway of regret
The winds will change they'll blow wild and free
You ain't see nothing like me

I could make you happy make your dreams come true
Though there's nothing that I wouldn't do
I'll go to the ends of the earth for you

To make you feel my love (4)

F1 over the weekend

2006-09-12T15:47:00.000+08:00

I am a HUGE Kimi fan. Not just because he has blonde hair, blue eyes, and is camera shy but reasons that some might not see. Kimi Raikkonen is a force to be reckoned with in the Formula 1 Grand Prix. He is a brilliant driver. And if it were not for the crap-ass pit crew and F1 car that he's working with, he might be on podium and in first place more often. Sure, Michael Schumacher might have taken on 90wins, but he's an ass. And that Alonso is just an idiot. If we're just talking about talent, you've got it in the hands of this powerful Finn. I believe that 2007 will be the year of the Ice Man.

Kimi polls at Italian Grand Prix.
But Schumi takes center stage with 90th Grand Prix win and a retirement announcement. (PS. He already knows who's replacing him. Fingers crossed for our Kimi!!!)
New-comer, Kubica, takes third.
Where's Alonso you ask? Alonso blows out. Needless to say, people were ELATED at that stroke of luck.

Broke and breaking down in a broken bus

2006-09-08T18:19:00.000+08:00

I haven't been feeling particularly "normal" the past few days so last night, I decided to leave work a bit earlier and catch a jologs love movie. (Shut up. We all must do what we can to stay sane.) I started out just after 6 only to realize, moments after stepping off the elevator, that the rain was heavily pouring outside. With my luck, I was umbrella-less. I couldn't hail a cab or catch any ride from the front of my building. Instead of admitting defeat and having to climb back up to my office, I put on my brave face and forged on. I took the sheltered walkways until I reached PBCom, the building behind mine. I took shelter for a few minutes and planned my escape route. Everybody was just as stuck as I was. But I wasn't gonna be like one of them. I crossed from the back of the building to the front where the underpass was accessible. I crossed and emerged on the other side. This was proving to be a daunting task seeing as I had to avoid rain in a place where when a faucet leaks, the entire area becomes flooded in a second. It was a bad idea. Braving the rain without so much as a hankie.

Then comes the second bad idea. Taking the bus. I have this really great gift for managing to pick out the crapiest bus of the bunch. This time, it was priceless. It's more priceless than that time where roaches were crawling all over the seats. More priceless than a homeless man throwing up a couple of seats behind me. This bus, ladies and gentlemen, played the Rainy Musical Chairs game. It was raining outside, and so it was the same inside. You could never tell where the next leak was to spring thus making the hour-long ride into a heart-pumping race to get the best (and I use the term loosely) seats in the bus. The lady beside me was thoroughly annoyed at the fact that there was a leak directly above us. There was nowhere else to go. I just gave up right then and there. If watching a movie proved to be this much waste of time and energy, I'd rather not get all worked up. So in the middle of that damp, wet, stinking bus, I finally broke down. I just laughed the entire experience. There was really nothing else I could do.

I couldn't get away from the rain. I couldn't get away from the people. I couldn't get away from the rush hour. I couldn't get away from Isabella (I've taken the liberty of picking out the temp name) kicking me, wanting an explanation as to why she has to take this bumpy and smelly ride as well.

I got off at Megamall and decided that I should just forego the movie. The mall's theatre is notorious for having hideous theatre system and I wasn't about to become the test subject as to whether or not it had changed along with the facade. In short, I bought pillows. Woopdeedoo. Pillows. How much more domestic and boring can you get? As it turns out, as I lay my head on my brand new pillow and embraced the rainbow-shaped, aptly named CuddleMe pillow, these were exactly what I needed this week .. a good, nice, warm, soft, pillowy sleep. See? I'm not hard to please. Turns out, I just needed my sleep.

Signs that I'm going nuts:

2006-09-07T17:15:00.000+08:00

1. I watched my collection of Stevie porn (actually, just pics, but I like to call them porn anyways) on slideshow to the music of Ariel Rivera's Minsan Lang Kitang Iibigin. What is up with that?!

2. I devoured three Nutty Chocolate donuts from Dunkin' in a minute washing it down with .. wait for it .. orange juice. On any other day, Yuck. But today, not bad.

3. I want to purchase a 2,000 peso footwear. And I am goddamn broke. I'm so broke .. that there's not even a joke for it.

4. I want to watch You Are The One of Sam Milby and Toni Gonzaga. Just because it's cheesy and gross and uber-Pinoy labshet story. I can't relate but I will awaken something inside of me that can.

I cannot ..

2006-09-06T19:36:00.000+08:00

I am going nuts, I tell you. I can't take being in this office anymore. I don't want to see another excel file in my entire life. I am just sick of the whole work routine. I SERIOUSLY need a break. A vacation. A day off. I just need some time to myself. Just to wallow and, really, do nothing at all. When I get fed up with it, then MAYBE I'd think about going back to work.

I can't deal with the world right now. I want to take a gun and race to the rooftops and just start shooting people. I am not even close to kidding. Aside from work, the Mother is flying in today. UGH. Talk about pressure and all the criticisms coming my way this week. Expect me to have an emotional breakdown by Friday and a ranting post come Monday morning.

Aside from work and the Mother visit, there are only 10 WEEKS left until it's baby day. Ever the procrastinator, I haven't gotten ANYTHING remotely prepared for another life in my already-cluttered "life". I CAN'T. I just want to climb into my bed, pull the covers over my head, and sleep the days away. I don't want to function anymore. I hardly have the will to blog. *gasp*

Life is catching up with me and it is PISSED that I laughed at it a couple of stops back. Payback is such a bitch. Everything is happening all at once and there's NO ONE I can turn to. NO ONE. Friends? Well, they're busy living their own lives. Pretty soon I won't have any friends (or semblance of a life) except for playdates and changing diapers. A far cry from my wild (albeit workday) nights. Family? Let's not even go there. The Dad? Well, he's slaving away for the incoming plus one that we're having. No point in giving him more shite.

*sigh*

Help.
Help.
Help.

Song Post

2006-09-06T18:16:00.000+08:00

Just leafing through the tracks in the Network list and came across this.
Cried for about an hour in the bathroom.
It's surprising what music can do to you.

DAMAGED
by TLC

I know I’m kinda strange, to you sometimes
Don’t always say, what’s on my mind
You know that I’ve been hurt, by some guy
But I don’t wanna mess up this time

[bridge]
And I really really really care
And I really really really want you
And I think I’m kinda scared
Cos I don’t want to lose you
If you really really really care
Then maybe you can hang through
I hope you understand
It’s nothing to you

[chorus]
My heart’s at a low
I’m so much to manage
I think you should know that
I’ve been damaged
I’m falling in love
There’s one disadvantage
I think you should know that
I’ve been damaged

I might look through your stuff, for what I don’t wanna find
Or I might just set you up, to see if you’re all mine
I’m a little paranoid, from what I’ve been through
Don’t know what you got yourself into

And I really really really care (and I care about you so much)
And I really really really want you (I really do want you)
And I think I’m kinda scared (but I’m scared with every touch)
Cos I don’t want to lose you (cos I don’t want to lose you)
If you really really really care (if you care for me like you say)
Then maybe you can hang through (then maybe you can hang through)
I hope you understand (I hope you understand)
It’s nothing to you (it’s nothing to you, you)

My heart’s at a low
I’m so much to manage
I think you should know that
I’ve been damaged
I’m falling in love
There’s one disadvantage
I think you should know that
I’ve been damaged

STEVE IRWIN DIES

2006-09-04T15:42:00.000+08:00

CAIRNS, Australia - Steve Irwin, the hugely popular Australian television personality and environmentalist known as the “Crocodile Hunter,” was killed Monday by a stingray while filming an underwater documentary on the Great Barrier Reef. He was 44.

Irwin was killed by a stingray barb to the heart on Batt Reef, off the remote resort town of Port Douglas in northeastern Queensland state, his wildlife park Australia Zoo said in a statement.

Crew members aboard Irwin’s boat, Croc One, called emergency services in the nearest city, Cairns, and administered CPR as they rushed the boat to nearby Low Isle to meet a rescue helicopter. Medical staff pronounced Irwin dead a short time later, the statement said.

Irwin was famous for his enthusiasm for wildlife and his catchword “Crikey!” in his television program “Crocodile Hunter,” which was first broadcast in Australia in 1992 and has aired around the world on the Discovery channel.

He rode his image into a feature film, and developed the Australia Zoo as a tourist attraction.
“The world has lost a great wildlife icon, a passionate conservationist and one of the proudest dads on the planet,” John Stainton, Irwin’s friend and producer, said in the statement. “He died doing what he loves best and left this world in a happy and peaceful state of mind. Crocs Rule!”

The rest of the article is over here.

*****

Damn shame. He shouldn't have had to go just like that. He should've grown old and did more crazy shit that make uneducated people rise up in idiotic riots. I'm sorry. I'm going to need a moment now.

()&@$()&)#%&)

2006-09-01T16:21:00.000+08:00

I can't post pics.

I'm pissed.

Song Post

2006-09-01T16:11:00.000+08:00

Every parent has this dream for their child. My parents for me, and me for her.

I'll Give My Life For You
from Miss Saigon

You who i cradled in my arms
You asking as little as you can
Little snip of a little man
I know I'd give my life for you

You didn't ask me to be born
You why should you learn of war or pain?
To make sure you're not hurt again
I swear I'd give my life for you

I've tasted love beyond all fear
And you should know it's love that brought you here
And in one perfect night
When the stars burned like new

I'll give you a million things I'll never own
I'll give you a world to conquer when you're grown
You will be who you want to be
You, can choose whatever heaven grants
As long as you can have your chance
I swear i'll give my life for you

Sometimes I wake up
Reaching for him
I feel his shadow brush my head
But there's just moonlight on my bed

Was he a ghost was he a lie?
That made my body laugh and cry?
Then by my side the proof i see
His little one, gods of the sun,
Bring him to me!

You will be who you want to be
You, can choose whatever heaven grants
As long as you can have your chance
I swear I'll give my life for you

No one can stop what i must do
I swear I'll give my life for you!

Relationship Tips

2006-08-30T15:37:00.000+08:00

written by some dude.

1. Whatever you do, don't just show up at their house [without notice]...they run around in their underwear just like we do.

2. DON'T CHEAT ON THEM. It may seem foolproof, but girls tell each other everything about everything. Trust me, they WILL find out and you will be mad. And be in BIG trouble.

3. Beware of every single male relative and all guy friends. Any of them would kick your ass at the drop of a hat, and a lot of them wouldn't even wait for the hat. Thus the handiness of male friends.

4. NEVER miss an opportunity to tell them they're beautiful. Men don't do this often enough.

5. DON'T refuse to kiss in front of your friends. If they laugh at you, it's because they're jealous. This too.

6. If they slap you hard, you deserved it.

7. Don't be afraid to touch them if you want to. If they're going out with you in the first place, it's because they like being in your arms. *giggle*

8. If you don't sleep with them, DO NOT tell your friends that you did.

9. If you DO sleep with them, DON'T tell your friends that you did. (Is it worth it? You probably wont get any if she finds out.) And definitely in deep doo-doo.

10. You can be dirty minded in private, really...most of them are not offended by it... The operative word here is PRIVATE.

11. Not all of them eat like birds, a lot of them can eat like whales. It's not talking about me.

12. Most of them don't mind paying half of everything, but they do discuss these things with their friends. Realize that if you make your girlfriend pay half all the time, everyone will know about it and your friends will know you're a pussy.

13. Every girl should eventually get three things from her boyfriend- a stuffed animal, ONE OF HIS SWEATSHIRTS, and a really PRETTY RING. Even if it's not a serious relationship.

14. Make sure she gets home safely as often as you can. If you're dropping her off, walk her to the door. If you aren't dropping her off, call to be sure she's home safely.

15. If a guy is bothering her, it is your right to beat the shit out of him. Or you can just stand there and hold her purse while she pounds his face into an unrecognizable mass of pulp.

16. If you're talking to a female friend of yours, PULL YOUR GIRLFRIEND CLOSER.

17. NEVER, ever slap her, even if it's just in a joking way. Even if she swats you first, and says, "Oh, you're so dumb" or something, never make any gestures back.

18. Go to a chick flick once in a while. She doesn't care whether you enjoy it or not, it just matters that you went.

19. You're dead meat if you can't get along with their pets, parents, and best friends. Be prince charming to their friends, Mr. Polite to their parents, and make sure to be nice to their animals.

20. Don't flirt with their moms...that' s just freaky.

21. Don't be freaked out by PMS. It's not gross, and it really does make them feel like shit, so be understanding. Hallelujah!

22. If you don't like the way they drive, you do it.

23. If you're officially dating, and you're introducing her to your friends, you'd better damn well introduce her as your girlfriend. NOT your 'friend'. *rolls eyes* Fuckers.

24. Don't stress where you go for every date. They really only want to be with you.

25. If they complain that something hurts, rub it for them WITHOUT being asked.

26. Girls are fragile. Even if you're play fighting/wrestling, be very gentle.

27. Memorize their birthdays. You forget her birthday and you're basically screwed for life.

28. Don't marinade the cologne, but smell good. Some men just don't know when to stop bathing in gallons of this stinky stuff.

29. Don't give her something stupid for her birthday or Christmas or Valentine's day. It doesn't have to be expensive, but it has to be meaningful.

30. If you think the relationship isn't going to last, don't wait to find out. It will only hurt her more if you draw it out.

31. After you've been dating for a while, realize that they really have started to trust you. When you have a girlfriend who truly trusts you, you have a lot more responsibility, privilege and control than you would think. Be careful with it, most guys would kill for that kind of power, and it can be lost in a nanosecond.

32. NEVER, and I mean NEVER make her do anything she doesn't wanna do. Because if you do she'll think that you're only after one thing (and i think you all know what that is). You know who you are. This isn't a hint anymore. It's in plain, readable sight.

*****

HURRAH! A male that understands!

Advice

2006-08-30T12:18:00.000+08:00

.. from someone I don't know but who's been there and who's done it. Sometimes family, friends (and even the Dad) just can't get it right.

*****
Dear Babe,

I would congratulate you but I know you don't know how to say thank you right now and that's okay. It's okay to be afraid. It's okay to mourn your single life, your freedom, your yesterday. It's okay to look in the mirror and find yourself unrecognizable. It's okay to feel as if you are sleep-walking, sick to your stomach, speechless. There is nothing wrong with long silences and blank thoughts. There is nothing wrong with being afraid.

Forget morning sickness and weight-gain and childbirth, the hardest part is right now. Today. Trying to understand the largeness of the situation, deciding that the truth is actual, trusting the double lines, saying aloud, "I'm pregnant." There is nothing more difficult than unknowingly crossing the line, becoming two people overnight, touching your body and coming to terms with the fact that inside, a face is forming and with it, a new world- a giant door that leads to everywhere, a wild jungle and OH MY GOD. Yes, everything is different, now.

When I first found out I was pregnant I couldn't say so aloud for several days. I choked on my words and swallowed air in their place. It wasn't until I had written the words down on paper 100 times that I could finally repeat them aloud. "I. AM. PREGNANT." Me, pregnant. I am going to have a baby. There is something alive in my body and one day it will have a name. Holy Shit! How is it possible?

Give yourself time. You do not need to tell anyone if you don't want to. You don't need to be excited yet. You don't need to plan your future. You only need to plan for the moment. For today. Get yourself through today and tomorrow will be easier and then, next week, next week you will feel differently. I promise. The first few days are the hardest. The most confusing. Like in a dream.

It takes time to feel comfortable with a new friend, to get along with a roommate, to trust a stranger and so with the child growing inside of you, it is much the same. The key to any healthy relationship is time. Time and faith and honesty. Be honest with yourself and do not be afraid to be afraid.

Pregnancy was the most amazing physical experience of my life. I cannot imagine never experiencing those forty weeks of creation, the changes and the swelling of self. I cannot imagine my body without it's stretched tattoos and belly flab. I cannot imagine my life without Archer.

I looked into your eyes today and I so remembered the feeling. I remembered the fear, the lack of control, the loss of power. I remembered what I was wearing when I found out, (red tee and jeans) the way my hair looked, auburn roots coming through my black dye-job. Roots that have since outgrown completely. I remember the six pregnancy tests in a row and me unbelieving. I remember shaking my head for a half an hour, huddled under the sink and how my bedroom looked, messy on the other side of the room. I remember the damn dog next door and how he wouldn't stop barking and how for once, I was grateful. The silence was too much to bear. I remember feeling like my life was over. The end.

And I looked into your eyes, at your hair and thought, "you too will remember this moment. You will remember what you were wearing, faded work-out pants and sneakers. The banana clip in your hair. You will remember the smell of my car when I picked you up. You will remember the way the world suddenly looked different. A shade off. A new tint. You will remember it like yesterday. Like the turning-point in your life."

And then I came home, and I looked into Archer's eyes and all I could feel was gratitude and love and joy and I thought of you because one day, 32 weeks(?) from now you will feel it too. You will look into the eyes of something that was a part of you, is a part of you. A gift. A surprise. A beginning. And once again you will be speechless. And then I can congratulate you again and in a whole new way, you won't know what to say.

Most definitely your life has changed directions and the compass is all out of wack. Most definitely I know that you will find your way.

Always,
GGC

*****

Finally.
Someone who understands it all.

Let me vent because I'm not a perfect 10.

2006-08-29T15:53:00.000+08:00

When no one's watching, that's who you really are. And on that note, I would like to say that MEN ARE SUCH PIGS. Just because women don't confront you with the things that you do or keep behind your back, doesn't mean we don't know and we aren't affected. I am PISSED. I shouldn't be but I AM. And you don't know it, but I'm screaming my head off right now. It just had to come at a time like this. At a time when I'm my most vulnerable.

I'm not making sense, am I? I'll give you the backstory and you can just figger out what the hell I'm ranting about.

the Dad: What? Men don't care about stretchmarks. I asked my friend Glam Rock and Druggie and they said they didn't mind.
the Mom: Yeah right. *rolls her eyes*
the Dad: Really, men don't mind.
the Mom: And just because you gathered your TWO, COUNT 'EM, TWO friends, you think that's a sufficient sample size, therefore proving you right? Puh-lease.
the Dad: *getting exasperated by the pregnancy hormones* Men really don't mind.
the Mom: Whatever. Shut up.
the Dad: Why are women so self-conscious anyway?
the Mom: *seeing red, thinking to herself "I can't believe he has the nerve to ask me THIS question"* You know what? Women who have "self-confidence" or "self-esteem" are living in a certain kind of denial. The kind where we know we're not perfect because someone out there will always be better looking, smarter, prettier, taller, whiter/more tanned, than us. And we can live with that -- up to a certain point. Already our egos are fragile knowing that men worship such perfect goddesses on-screen and try to find that equal in the real world. I'll save you the trouble and tell you right now that it doesn't exist. And most men STILL can't grasp that concept, thus women primp and exercise and deform themselves in order to be picked out of the lot. So when you tell me that "stretchmarks don't matter", I'm not ranting because I don't think you acknowledge the seriousness of this skin issue. I am ranting because, albeit, normal, it's another blow to our already-fragile minds. We KNOW that we are not a 10. We KNOW we can never be like Angelina Jolie. But it's another straw on the insecure camel's back. And when you're not sensitive enough to see that, we die a little. We'll live, of course. But trust that we've died a little inside.

Disclaimer: I didn't exactly respond that way to the Dad. I so would've liked to. But I think I already cashed in my emotional ranting rations for the week. Maybe the week after that.

PS.
the Dad: Do you really think you're hotter than Angelina Jolie?
the Mom: *unflinching* YES.

I have lived through 69 of these 99 things

2006-08-29T14:39:00.000+08:00

Put numbers in the boxes instead of x's (ex. 1,2,3,4,).
Repost.

[1] I have read a book before. Let's hope so!
[2] I have run more than 2 miles without stopping. I'm sure I have during those months of tennis training.
[] I have been to Canada. Me thinks it's a sad, frozen place.
[3] I have been on some sort of sports team.
[4] I have watched cartoons for hours before. HOURS.
[5] I have fallen down an entire flight of stairs. Yes.
[] have been snowboarding/skiing. Too bad I turned down that offer. Grrr.
[6] I have played ping pong. Yeah. And kicked ass!
[7] I swam in the ocean. Who hasn't?
[] I have been on a whale watch. I have yet to pen that into my busy schedule.
[8] I have seen fireworks. Every New Year.
[9] I have seen a shooting star. And made a wish, EVERY time.
[10] I have seen a meteor shower. It was a bit cloudy but you could still see past it.
[11] I have almost drowned. Several times.
[12] I have been so embarrassed I wanted to disappear. Just this morning ..
[13] I have listened to one cd over & over & over again. I don't want to tell which one.
[14] I have had stitch(es). Awesome souvenirs of all the stupid things I did.
[] I have licked a frozen pole and got stuck there.
[15] I have stayed up til 6am doing homework, projects. Until the last second of the deadline, more like it.
[16] I currently have a job. Gotta pay the bills somehow.
[17] I have gone ice skating. The dinky rink at Megamall.
[18] I have gone rollerblading. At a friend's neighborhood. It did not go well.
[19] I have fallen flat on my face. After tying the laces and trying to stand up on the rollerblades.
[20] I have been in a fist fight. When I was in pigtails and a matching pink outfit. I WON, by the way.
[21] I have played videogames/com for more than 3 hours straight. I can't resist topping the score in Burnout. hehe ..
[22] I have watched The Power Rangers before. Waaay before anyone else.
[23] I do/have attended Church regularly. Every Sunday with the family.
[24] I have played truth or dare. Who hasn't?
[25] I have already had my 16th birthday. A long, long time ago.
[26] I have already had my 17th birthday. Ages ago.
[27] I've called someone stupid. And meant it. I ALWAYS mean it.
[28] I've been in a verbal argument. When with the Dad, YES.
[29] I've cried in school. On the bus, on the train, in a bar, in a bar bathroom, in the stairwell, in a mall, on a football field. You name it, I've cried there.
[30] I've played basketball on a team. You're looking at the shortest captain ever.
[] I've played softball on a team.
[]I've played football on a team.
[] I've played soccer on a team.
[31] I've done cheerleading on a team. Minus the short skirts and the pompoms. Does being a mascot count?
[] I've swam on a team.
[32] I've been swimming more than 20 times in my life.
[] I've bungee jumped. I wish.
[33] I've climbed a rock wall before. Ah, the days when I could still hoist myself up. Now I can't even get out of bed by myself. I have to be rolled over like dough.
[34] I've lost more than PHP1000. Stolen and shopped.
[35] I've called myself an idiot. All the time.
[36] I've called someone else an idiot. All the time.
[37] I've cried myself to sleep. I should really remind myself to stop doing that. I get monster migraines when I wake up.
[38] I've had (or have) pets. Lots.
[] I've owned a Spice Girls cd and or tape.
[] I've owned a Britney Spears cd.
[] I've owned an N*Sync cd.
[39] I've owned a Backstreet Boys cd. This was THE boyband. Yeah!
[40] I've sworn at someone in authority. They're all idiots. The lot of 'em!
[41] I've been in the school newspaper/insights. Just because I was the EIC.
[42] I've been on TV. No biggie. Just a feature. Nothing glamorous.
[43] I've eaten sushi. LOVE sushiiii!
[44] I've been on the other side of a waterfall.
[45] I've watched all of the Lord of the Rings movies. It's a must because I haven't found the patience to read the book.
[46] I've watched all the Harry Potter movies. What I said up there.
[47] I've watched the 3 Stooges at least once. Of course. Larry, Curly, and Moe!
[48] I've watched "Newlyweds" Nick & Jessica. I watched it just to catch the other brother, Drew.
[49] I've watched Looney Tunes before. Looney Tunes raised me.
[] I've been called a geek.
[50] I've studied hard for a test and got a bad grade. After the test, I blew all my allowance on expensive therapy, ice cream.
[51] I've not studied at all for a test and aced it. Greatest relief in my whole life.
[52] I’ve met a celebrity / music / TV artist.
[53] I've written poetry. Sucky poetry.
[] I've been arrested. My lawyer has told me not to comment on this matter.
[54] I've been attracted to someone much older than me. *ahem*
[55] I've been tickled till I've cried. My dad is merciless.
[56] I've tickled someone else until they cried. My cousin is an easy target. And she doesn't make a sound. *insert evil laughter here*
[57] I've had/have siblings. Just one other. To torture when I'm bored.
[58] I've been to a rock concert. Greatest time of my life!
[59] I've listened to classical music and enjoyed it. Pachbel's Cannon in D Major.
[60] I've been in a play. Count me present in ALL of the productions.
[] I've been picked last in gym class.
[61] I've been picked first in gym class or so. I get to pick. ALWAYS.
[] I’ve been picked in that middle-range in gym class.
[62] I've cried in front of my friend/s. It's pathetic, I know.
[] I've read a book longer than 1,000 pages. Most pages I've gone is 800 something I think. Anne Rice's Witching Hour.
[63] I've freaked out over a sports game. UAAP Finals, World Cup.
[64] I’ve vomited in public. Classy ..
[] I've washed someone else’s vomit. Someone else has washed mine. Wahahaha!
[] I’ve ran away.
[65] I’ve had a stalker. It was just creepy. It wasn't the Marky-Mark-in-Fear type of stalking.
[66] I've had a fight with someone on text.
[67] I've had a fight with someone face-to-face. With the Dad, ALWAYS.
[68] I've been on a car accident. Again, no comment.
[69] I've forgiven someone who has done something bad to me. Whaaat? I have!

from Shen.

Something for the weekend ahead

2006-08-25T18:26:00.000+08:00

So really, I had nothing truly substantial to post this week. No deep thoughts. No seething rants. I guess that is what I'd call a 'normal' week. There might have been nothing to my week, but regardless, I will share (contrary to popular belief).

1. People (well, not just some random people. I'm sure they've got like PhDs and stuff) say that PLUTO IS NO LONGER A PLANET. This tidbit is from RI who, in turn, got it from his friend.
I just want to say that I think Pluto is one cool PLANET just because it's the farthest. I'm not contesting the scientists' facts and arguments on why Pluto shouldn't be a planet. I'm sure I would never understand them even if I tried. But I will STILL sing of the NINE planets.

2. Always look on the bright side of life. Goalkeepers don't have it easy in the world of football. They're the last MAN of defense. Sometimes the pressure is just too much. And sometimes, there's just nothing you can do.

HAPPY WEEKEND!

Giddy

2006-08-25T16:04:00.000+08:00

WOOT!

I'm finally getting a dose of vacation! Yipeee! Well, it's not yet final but the Dad said that we could go up to Baguio sometime on the second week of September and needless to say, I AM SUPER PSYCHED!

I admit that it's nothing like going out of state or somewhere farther, although the Grandpa has been suggesting I vacay in New York because it's off-peak season and the rates are reasonably cheaper. *rolling eyes* Riiight. Like I could just take off in the middle of this. Gotta love the Grandpa for trying. And my family for still being in denial with the pregnancy and all. Ah, the Family.

Shriek! Seriously excited to be taking a vacation even if my wallet has been ass-raped for the past months. I figgered that I deserved some time off and AWAY from the city. The pollution and stress cling to you like second-hand smoke. Ugh.

That's it. Just wanted to share the good (and hopefully, true) news with ya'll before the weekend is upon us again. Peace and good vibes to everyone!

PS. Damnit. Can't post pics for a preview of things to come. Grrr. But I won't let that spoil it for me. Love ya'll!

In THEIR pants ..

2006-08-25T15:43:00.000+08:00

Shelah's full list

My faves from her list:

20. thievery corporation, the hong kong triad...in my pants

23. pedro the lion, penetration...in my pants

28. yo la tengo, you don't have to be sad...in my pants

Sarah's full list

My faves from her list:

4. Drive Like Jehu - Golden Brown...in my pants

9. Cynthia Alexander - The Flowers of Youth...in my pants

16. Ambulance LTD - Stay Where You Are...in my pants

HILARIOUS!!!!!

There's something .. in my pants

2006-08-25T15:20:00.000+08:00

1.) Open music player of choice
2.) Shuffle
3.) Play
4.) First 30 tracks + in my pants

Great kinky game!
LAFTRIIIP!

1. Alanis Morissette: Mary Jane .. in my pants
2. Smooth Voice : Another Clown .. in my pants
3. Sarah McLachlan and Blue Rodeo: What is this Love .. in my pants
4. Bad Boys II: Model .. in my pants
5. Pussycat Dolls feat. will.i.am: Beep .. in my pants
6. Radioactive Sago Project: Gin Pomelo .. in my pants
7. Blink 182: I Miss You .. in my pants
8. Swing Out Sister: Everyday .. in my pants
9. Morcheeba: The Sea .. in my pants
10. Pachbel: Cannon in D Major .. in my pants
11. Beethoven: Largo .. in my pants
12. Josh Groban: She’s Out of My Life .. in my pants
13. Avenue Q: What do you do with a BA in English .. in my pants
14. The Peter Malick Group with Norah Jones: New York City .. in my pants
15. Vanessa Carlton: Pretty Baby .. in my pants
16. Chris Botti: When I Fall in Love .. in my pants
17. Santana and Chad Kroeger: Why Don’t You and I .. in my pants
18. Jay-Z: Allure .. in my pants
19. Avenue Q: You Can Be As Loud As The Hell You Want To Be (When You’re Making Love) .. in my pants
20. Cafe del Mar: Burnin' .. in my pants
21. Robbie Dupree: Make it Easy .. in my pants
22. Delerium: Temptation .. in my pants
23. Norah Jones: Lonestar .. in my pants
24. Santana: Evil Ways .. in my pants
25. Ray Charles with Natalie Cole: Fever .. in my pants
26. Smooth Sound: I’m into You .. in my pants
27. Beautiful World: In Existence .. in my pants
28. San Miguel Master Chorale: Tunay na Ligaya .. in my pants
29. Michael Bolton: Go the Distance .. in my pants
30. Pussycat Dolls: Stick with U .. in my pants

SHUFFLE

2006-08-24T14:48:00.000+08:00

1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn't make sense.

NO CHEATING!

How are you feeling today?
>> FEAR by Sarah McLachlan
fear of everything that is to happen

Will you get far in life?
>> FEELING THIS by Blink 182
just thinking about the here and now

How do your friends see you?
>> THE LORD'S PRAYER by Charlotte Church
I am the answer to their prayers. wahahaha!

Will you get married?
>> NOT MYSELF by John Mayer
hahaha! this is just funny!

What is your life's theme song?
>> LULLABY by Shawn Mullins
sleepyhead

What is the story of your life?
>> ICE CREAM by Sarah McLachlan
it's always been a cold life

What was high school like?
>> MY CONFESSION by Josh Groban
that's for me to know and for you to find out

How can you get ahead in life?
>> EVERYBODY WANTS TO RULE by Tears for Fears
dictatorship is the way to go

What is tomorrow going to be like?
>> YOU COULD MAKE A KILLING by Aimee Mann
ruthless

What is the best thing about your friends?
>> INUMAN NA by Prokya ni Edgar
hahaha! yes.

What is in store for the next weekend?
>> DISTANT DRUMS from Mystic Rythms
that's too far off to tell

What song best describes you?
>> AUDIO DELITE AT LOW FIDELITY by Black Eyed Peas
audio delite: masarap kausap; low fidelity: walang pakisama (hahaha!)

How is your life going?
>> THANK YOU by Dido
grateful

What song will play at your funeral?
>> THAT'S WHERE IT IS by Carrie Underwood
yun yuuuun!

How does the world see you?
>> FELL IN LOVE WITH A BOY by Joss Stone
hey! it's not ALWAYS like that!

Will you have a happy life?
>> BALLROOM OF MARS by T-Rex
not in this planet or lifetime

What do your friends really think of you?
>> THE SUN by Maroon 5
they all revolve around moi. wahahaha!

What song describes the person you're attracted to?
>> GET IN TOUCH WITH YOURSELF by Swing Out Sister
raunchy!

What message would you like to tell the next
generation?
>> PERFECT by Simple Plan
take it easy. no one is. except for those seamen.

Do you have a deep dark secret?
>> MUSIC FOR A FOUND HARMONIUM by The Penguin Cafe Orchestra.
how to live in tune with life

from Shelah

ADHD

2006-08-23T19:44:00.000+08:00

I've been religiously scouring through blogs for the past weeks and I've found that nothing keeps my interest for more than a second anymore. Of course there's still the bunch of crap that I find on the internet and SOMETIMES they're worth sharing. But I'm looking for interesting and original PERSONAL blogs to read. I haven't heard of an original voice in a while. It doesn't help that my blog is in dire need of a makeover, despite the new tags and layout. I think I might need to agree with the Dad that I need a shtick. But then again, my shtick has always been to repel people that I don't think I would get along with. See, in that way, there's no awkward confrontation of actually telling them that I don't like them.

A Liverpool quickie: Reds 1-1 Maccabi Haifa in the Champions League.

During training at Kiev, Stevie sat most out if out due to a bug flu. I guess he empathized with me through my flu-induced weekend. Ah, Stevie. You didn't have to go through the trouble. *blush*

Here he is arriving at Kiev airport. I LOVE the shot. He looks very imposing.

Stevie during training. He ran around a bit but Rafa decided to let him rest. And although he wasn't in 100% playing condition, he still sucked it up and played. THAT is a true captain.

BOLD

2006-08-23T16:11:00.000+08:00

I wish I was a different ethnicity. Sometimes but not all the time.
I have an eating disorder. Yeah. I can't stop. Does that qualify?
I'm short. Say it with me now, five NOTHING.
I'm tall.
I think I'm really attractive. It's called self-esteem.
I prefer winter over summer. Don't make me start missing winter.
I'm a geek.
I'm a shopaholic. Window-shopaholic.
I'm reasonably intelligent. I'd like to think so.
I'm attracted to girls.
I'm attracted to boys. More like MEN.
I like British accents. To die for, dahling.
I smoke regularly.
I drink regularly.
I smoke socially. Ahehe ..
I drink socially. Isn't there a statement that just says I drink PERIOD?
I get drunk easily. Let's not talk about this.
I do drugs. Biogesic and pain killers.
I will never date a bad kisser. But how will you know unless you've dated them to begin with?
I've lied to avoid kissing them again. I would.
I brush my hair at least 50 times a night.
I'm religious. Not a fanatic though.
I'm not religious but have morals.
I lie frequently. Does this surprise anyone at all?
I'm impulsive.
I'm hardworking.
I liked "Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind." Did not see it.
"She's All That" is one of my favourite movies.
I'm good at History.
I speak more than two languages. Feeling!
I enjoy taking pictures. Shutterbug right here.
I like spending money on myself. Cash or credit?
I like spending money on others. Come Christmas time.
I have a regular income.
I earn money on a job-by-job basis.
I pay my own bills. My phone bills count.
I rely on my parents for money. The Dad hates me for this.
I'm told I have yet to fulfill my potential. I'm in constant search.
I'm good at sports.
I'm good at certain sports.
I couldn't do sports to save my life.
I'm creative.
I'm artistically inclined. I AM.
I wanna be an artist when I grow up.
I wanna be an engineer when I grow up.
I eat when I'm upset. Or happy. Or bored. Or busy.
I cannot adapt to change.
I'm interested in politics.
I have shoplifted.
I download MP3s. Change that to buy pirated MP3s.
I've done underage drinking.
I've gone underage clubbing. IS there such a thing?
I can dance reasonably well.
I can dance extremely well.
I dance like a cardboard gorilla.
I can sing.
I can sing like someone stepped on my foot.
I can swim. I can't even float.
I enjoy surveys. When boredom has set in.
I keep a journal.
My teachers don't like me. Because I make them cry year after year.
I enjoy controversy.
I can be a bitch/bastard.
I have a thing for bad boys/girls.
I have tattoos.
I've been in a nudist colony.
I'm not sure if I want to have children. Haha! Like I have a choice!
I'm not sure if I'll get married.
I know who I will marry.
I'm interesting.
I'm a good liar.
People enjoy talking to me.
I annoy people from time to time. Make that ALL THE TIME.
I'm a born leader.
I'm a born leader but shouldn't lead.
I enjoy felching.
I have a foot fetish.
I have a shoe fetish.
I watch "Sex and the City."
I don't think Sarah Jessica Parker is pretty.
I wanna be J.Lo.
I cut myself.
I've cut myself. :
I hate people who pretend to be suicidal. Die already.
I hate popular people. Same message: die already.
I think cheerleading is a sport.
I'm photogenic.
I live in Chucks.
I think graffiti is art.
I have dated a criminal. Just because I want to highlight it! ;)
I have been cheated on.
I have cheated on someone. Ooopsie.
I have a temper.
I like playgrounds.
I dance in the rain. Among other things ;)
I'm obsessed with Shakespeare.
I have tanlines. I don't think they're going away though..
My favorite color is pink.
My favorite color is black. DUH.
I would classify myself as emo.
I'm musically inclined.
I like listening to music.
I like music-blasting cars.
Thongs are comfortable.
I like flip-flops. I don't have a choice with these preggy feets.
I know what monogamy is...
...and I believe in it.
I wanna be a social worker when I grow up.
I have sibling/s.
My siblings annoy me.
I think "South Park" is funny. It is! Ah! I'll kick you in the nuts!
I believe in LOVE.

from Tiffy

The long of it

2006-08-23T11:47:00.000+08:00

I know I said that my weekend was dull. And it was. I just feel compelled to create a breakdown of it all. (Talk about boredom.)

SATURDAY:
(very fuckin' early in the morning)
The Dad woke me up because we had to get to the doctor's appointment for all my prenatal crap. Let me tell you, there was NOTHING comfortable about that visit, although I did like the doctor that we "picked." She was reassuring and nice. When she asked me for my medical history and I told her that I'm not familiar with mine, she didn't look at me incredulously. When she needed to know any prenatal information that I could volunteer and I had none, she didn't roll her eyes or open them wide in shock. She was just VERY nice. Up until the actual check-up. "Spread 'em" isn't just a term the cops use. I was violated in almost every way imaginable. *sob* After changing back into my clothes from ass-less paper dress she made me wear, she shot me because I said yes. I'm an idiot for not knowing that a FLUVACC (floo-vahks) was actually a flu vaccine. And by vaccine, that meant she had to puncture my skin with a very sharp object. A almost fainted. Christ. After all the trauma I went through in that office, afterwards, her assistants had the balls to ask me for money. MONEY?! FOR WHAT?! VIOLATING MY PERSON?! *weeps*

The afternoon wasn't any better. I spent the better part of it trying to sleep the flu away. All my senses were heightened from the flu shot, thus multiplying my pain significantly. I couldn't find a decent position to sleep in nor did the sounds of a sick child in the other room, alleviate my worries. Thank God I had Tiffy's birthday to look forward to later that night.

My girls and I (plus the Dad) arrived at the celebrations around 1130 that night and we promptly sat ourselves at the dinner table. Everybody had already eaten at this point and were underway to getting piss drunk. We, on the other hand, had nothing but food on our minds. Mingling came a little later after we had stuffed ourselves and eyed who was at the party. We mostly kept to ourselves, occasionally getting interrupted by the Mingler of the Night, Paolo Pilay. None of us knew him but he looked like he had a hoot 'hanging' with us. Not even his arm cast stopped him from flitting from clique to clique. We had to end the night a couple of hours later because the other designated driver, P(olo) Diddy, was under watch by his girlfriend, but not before taking tons of idiotic pics of ourselves, which I will not post because as I've said, they were idiotic. If you really want to see them, then you'll have to find other ways.

SUNDAY:
I couldn't recall having a Sunday morning. True enough, I woke up late in the afternoon hankering for food and cake. The Dad and I thought to head on the nearest mall to get a sugar fill. Of course, with my luck, it was jologs day at the mall. It was Sale Weekend AND Spongecola had a gig in the middle of it all. Now, don't get me wrong. I absolutely LOVE sales and don't quite hate Spongecola. It's just that I hate the people that sales and Spongecola attracts. Yep, jologs. Well, in these parts of the greater Manila area anyways. For about 2hours, I kept rolling my eyes at all the posers that got off the elevators and escalators. People just bugged me today. Don't you have that kind of a day? That day when you just feel like shoving people aside because you didn't like the way the looked or talked or walked? Yep, it was one of those days. At least the Dad was there with me to calm me down. I cudda killed a lotta people had it not been for the Dad craftily steering me away from the idiots that I easily spotted. At least the Dad and I accomplished what we were set out to do: 1) eat cake and 2) get him a pair of glasses. Had it not been for cake, the day would've been a total waste.

MONDAY:
I don't recall most of Monday because I drifted in and out of sleep. I vaguely recall the Dad asking me if I wanted to have breakfast. *go back to sleep* The Dad waking me up to ask me if I wanted to watch CSI. *go back to sleep* The baby crying in the other room. *go back to sleep* *sleep* *sleep* *sleep* The Dad waking me up telling me he's off to work. *go back to sleep*

That was about the most exciting my 3-day weekend could get. If I summed it up, it would've been flu shot, party, cake, and sleep. But how dull a post that would've been.

The weekend that wasn't

2006-08-22T14:49:00.000+08:00

I'm just 'scribbling' a quick note just because Righteously Insane has already updated his blog on his whereabouts, complete with pictures. I just want to say that my weekend was flu-ey. That's it. That's all I have to say. Because nothing really happened. I might try to make it more exciting than what DID happen but I'd only be kidding myself. Because, really, no matter how hard I try to make my social life look as fabulous as 5 gay men out to make over straight guys, I can't. Especially when there's absolutely nothing to draw it from. Sure, I might make a little anecdote or fill an entry with sarcasm at how dull someone could be, but I know it wasn't the weekend that I was looking forward to.

*grumble* *mutter* *grumble*

Fuck 'em all. I'm off to the salon to shave my head now.

2006-08-18T23:44:00.001+08:00

And another friend is on their way to Minnesota for the weekend. Granted that I don't really know what they do in Minnesota, but still, it's still outside the city. And a proper getaway.

I need a vacation! A real one, please.

Weekend envy

2006-08-18T18:47:00.000+08:00

Well, well, well. Looks like a lot of people I know are scrambling to get out of the city this weekend because it's going to be a long one. I am particularly envious of Righteously Insane taking a much deserved trip up to Baguio with friends. Argh. That was MY plan! In any case, I don't have any of the means to get up there anyway. I shall comfort myself knowing that I can get a full day's sleep in on Monday.

I am psyched, however, to go to a friend's birthday party tomorrow night. It's just another opportunity to get the girls together and bitch about work and other girls but that's how we roll. I'm extra happy though that I don't have to rely on my friends in finding a ride home. I mean, that's the least the Dad could do, right? But I am majorly bummed that I won't be consuming alcohol any time soon. I'm no drunkard but I think it's been AAAAAGES since I last tasted liquor. *sob*

Now my head hurts from wishing a trip outside the city this weekend. I need to get out!!! I need to feel normal somehow! I need .. I need .. I don't know. I'm just exasperated carrying this kid around. Everything hurts. *sob*

Mom is worrying.

2006-08-18T18:46:00.000+08:00

Found in the recesses of my computer at home.

Relationships are grasping for breath and normalcy at this point. It was hard enough picking a movie and a schedule to watch it, harder still to deciding the paths that your integrated lives are about to take. Of course when you add into the mix a pair of households that had completely different set of values, well, you need not look far for your next telenovela storyline. After all the years you've been together, working like a well-oiled machine, you think that you can just smack life's curve balls out of this park without once striking out. Apparently, life has teeth and it has sunk it's into my relationships. It's my fault, really. I've never found my true self before this whole thing, thus, I am just floating along on borrowed ideals. You've concocted all these what-ifs in your mind and you think you have the pefect answer to every situation. But then it actually happens, and you realize that what you originally planned you were gonna do, doesn't seem like the best course of action to take.

You're constantly worried about everything. And not because you have extra time to worry. You're worried about the details and how they're going to work themselves out because let's face it, they never do and you only end up doing it all over again. Why not just do it right the first time, right? I'd rather not think about the things that no one else is concerned about. I mean, people are constantly telling me that I shouldn't think about this and that or that I SHOULD think about this and that. Like they know what the hell they're talking about. Why? Are YOU going to take care of them? Can you show me proof that all the bases are covered? Do you really know the consequences of the actions that we are about to take? You might say that no one can REALLY predict the future or that there is no perfect future and I understand that. I am not some idiot you plucked out of a bunch. I understand the limitations of the human capacity, the finiteness of the human mind. But what you must understand for me is that, I NEED ASSURANCE. That it's all alright. That it will all work out. That we will be fine. Because frankly, things look like they're falling apart.

I need more strength. I don't have enough of it. And it is majorly pissing me off. I don' t want to be treated like some kind of victim. But I don't want to be doing all the work either. I can't keep this up. I can't be strong and helpless at the same time. It's throwing me off my normal self and I just can't function anymore. I am mad at myself for putting me in this position. I am mad ay myself for having shut up for too long. I didn't even make an argument to save my life. I just went ahead with it. I wonder how long I'll punish myself for what I've done. About 5 months and counting ...

I love my Mom but..

2006-08-18T18:19:00.000+08:00

..the preggers outfits that she sent me were way beyond fug.

This pink thing is full of flowers and lace and ribbon and all the other crap. Just looking at it made me want to barf. And this peach thingie just makes me look like a walking tablecloth. That would help if I were promoting some kitchy resto but no, it's an actual outfit. And get this, she got me matching pants for the ugliest effin' blouses in the world. *roll eyes*

MOTHER!!!

ARGH

2006-08-18T14:07:00.000+08:00

It took me the entire day yesterday just tagging the crap I had accumulated in there mere 11 months that I've been blogging. I was in the dark about everything. I felt like such a complete moron. I mean, people half my age could easily figure this thing out and I can't even follow simple instructions. I need a slave, like those slaves back in Roman times. Someone to whip when I'm upset or just send on errands that I couldn't be bothered with. "Slave, tag all my posts!", "Slave, fetch me viginal waters from the mountain springs of France!", "Slave, kill that whore that dare look upon my robes with disdain!"

At least now I have some semblance of order in this messy blog. But I STILL don't know how to edit the labels.

*takes out whip*
"SLAVE!"

Blogging dilemma

2006-08-16T14:57:00.000+08:00

I'd love to just stick everything in this one gorgeous blog but I don't think I will be doing justice to my interests (upcoming baby, Premiership season starting, random things I find on the net, rants, etc.) if they're all mashed here. I'd like to keep them in one place just so I don't put my sanity into overdrive. But my faux-OC self would like to organize them somehow. I just don't know how to go about doing it. And I'd rather not switch into another blog host. I'm a creature of habit and am perfectly fine with the services that blogger.com has offered me.

Help.

I'm drowning in a sea of blogs and I don't know what to do with the shit I've accumulated throughout the months.

Tagged by Frost

2006-08-16T13:26:00.001+08:00

Two Names You Go By:
1.) Mara
2.) Dude

Two Parts of Your Heritage:
1.) Filipino
2.) Spanish (what? I needed a 2nd one..)

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1.) Nike Slippers (my pregnancy life saver)
2.) a borrowed Anne Cole jacket/dress thingie

Two Things You Would Want In A Relationship:
1.) time
2.) money (what can I say, I'm a material girl. wahahaha!)

Two Of Your Favorite Hobbies:
1.) watching movies
2.) eating (now more than ever)

Two Things You Want Really Badly At The Moment:
1.) my own car
2.) my own house

Two Pets You Had/Have:
1.) lotsa cats
2.) lotsa dogs

Two People Who Will Fill This Out:
1.) Tiffy .. ?
2.) Tanya .. ?

Two Things You Did Last Night:
1.) started reading a long overdue book, The Twelve
2.) watched the first episode of Rome (I know, I'm so behind)

Two Things You Ate Today:
1.) I haven't eaten anything today
2.) --

Two People You Last Talked To:
1.) Mac
2.) -- (I don't have that much of a life)

Two Things You’re Doing Tomorrow:
1.) work (supposedly)
2.) find time to get my pills from Mac

Two Of The Longest Car Rides You’ve Been On:
1.) trip to Vigan with my Mom
2.) trip to Baguio (I haven't been anywhere in a while)

Two Favorite Holidays:
1.) fine, fine, Christmas it is then ..
2.) and even if no one gives me presents or I don't celebrate it, my birthday

Two Things You Can’t Live Without:
1.) money
2.) my phone

Two Things You Should Be Doing Instead Of This:
1.) working
2.) eating

Name Studies

2006-08-14T15:57:00.000+08:00

That's what's been on the block this weekend. Other than catching a movie and helping me to move about, there was really very little that the Dad and I accomplished. So we decided to do the thing that we're really good at doing, (no, not that, you big pervert!) fighting. We both tried to shoot down each other's name suggestions and make a complete moron of ourselves by convincing each other that the name simply does not go with ANY of our family names. We shudder to think that we might end up naming this child Al Pacino Reyes or some sort. We both have brilliant minds but we'd never concede to admitting that the other person's name suggestion was better. That's just how stubborn we are. Thus, I have come to you to ask for help.

Dad's list has: Sophia, Milan, Beatriz, Malena, Sofia, Andrea, Carmela
(Make a mental note that this is the Dad that wanted to name the child, The Magneto. Need I say more?)
Mom's list has: Margarita, Margaux, Francesca, Isabella, Alessandra

Other people who have contributed:
Sarah: Galpie
Shen: Cueshe must die (I guess that's three names .. )
Tanya: Astrid
Mah bitches during a yelling match on the way to Gweilo's: Victoria, Diana, Karen, Violet

Initiate migraine.

IT'S A GIRL!!!

2006-08-11T16:08:00.000+08:00

Name ideas, anyone?

PS. I don't know what the arrow is pointing to as well. I think the void of an appendage tells you that it's NOT gonna be a boy.

If you won't ask, then I'll tell you.

2006-08-10T14:35:00.000+08:00

See? *giggle*

Or if you really can't, I'll even label it for you.

Good times.

*grin*

ASK ME!!!

2006-08-10T11:10:00.000+08:00

I've got a secreeet!!!

What do you think?

OR

Everything looks normal. It's gonna get a bit more exciting and much more stressful.

Send me good vibes, people!

PC update (if anyone cares)

2006-08-08T14:10:00.000+08:00

So there's something wrong with the actual account. It keeps saying that the ID or password that I entered is invalid. I don't know how that could be since i type it in like 5 TIMES a day. Unless I woke up in the middle of the night, commuted all the way to Makati, found my way into the building, opened up the office with a key that I DON'T HAVE, booted up my pc, and then hacked into my OWN account to change the password, then I'm sure it's all just my stupid fault.

My IT says that I might've gone into a site that required my password and stuff and then it got changed and now my account is currently under the evil control of SPAM. How I only wish that that meant I get meatloaf every week for the use of my account but sadly it doesn't. I haven't given up on getting my account back but it seems like a hopeless case. And I am such a sentimental shmuck. That email is about 8 years old and it had everything I kept eversince highschool and all throughout college. Not to mention all the contacts that are now just being drowned in junk mail.

And my Messenger .. how will I ever build that contact list ever again? Some people in that list just happen to be under the witness protection program. Do you know how long it takes to track those people down just to be able to forward them a stupid joke? I don't think they appreciate the effort that goes into forwarding mail.

I am disheartened. I fear for the worst.

To reach me, though I doubt I'd be in a cheery mood because of this whole fiasco, maraapril_navarro@yahoo.com.
As my Lulubelle said, "Wow. That's a very grown-up email address." Maybe the time has come to lay aside foolish things and reboot.

Can you hear me now?

2006-08-07T20:58:00.000+08:00

I've been incommunicado the whole day. Aside from my phone dying out on me due to low battery (I know, I was stupid not to charge it last night), I encountered a little problem with my Yahoo Messenger account. Thus, I could not check my mail nor was I able to chat the whole day. To others, this might seem a very trivial thing. To me, this is a death sentence.

I have no idea what the eff is wrong with it. It keeps saying that either the ID or password that I entered was invalid. I wanted to take my monitor and shake some sense into it. I settled for not so subtley kicking my CPU. I doubt that helped the situation. In fact, that might've further aggravated it, but do I look like I care?

It doesn't help that I am computer illiterate. I feel helpless. Bound and gagged helpless. Chained and shackled helpless. Mara-vs-Ken-Jennings-on-Jeopardy kind of helpless. And do I cry over this stupid computer glitch? Of course I do .. while helping myself to a bag of mini-Crunch.

I have resorted to asking our office IT for help. As we speak, I am yelling at him over the office ruckus to stop downloading porn and fix my account already. I swear, if you want something done right .. you should'nt have broken it in the first place.

Yeah, I told you it was one of those days.
Now, fuck off.

Addict

2006-08-07T19:30:00.000+08:00

I'm not supposed to be drinking anything caffeinated because they say that it's bad for the baby. What they don't know is that I've been sneaking tiny (relative) amounts of it into my system. Did they really think that I'd completely stop? Hell no. But caffeine, be it in coffee or Coke, is not the only thing I'm addicted to nowadays.

Mah Jong while listening to the soundtrack of Miss Saigon.
How very .. oriental.

I. Just. Can't. Stop.

It's one of those crazy, lazy days. My eyes are watering from staring at the computer too long. And it's not even because of work. Someone take me out of this chair and re-introduce me to the real world immediately!

Streakers

2006-08-04T20:28:00.000+08:00

All the while I thought I had fought them off. I mean, I wasn't religious or anything. I just took precautions just in case they were lurking about. Sometimes I would think about them when I've just gotten out of the shower or even when I'm eating out somewhere. It's been weeks since I read that I was probably gonna have a sighting of them, but I never really saw any. So, I relaxed a bit. Maybe I was just being too paranoid. With the impending baby and all, these things can just blow out of proportion for a new mom. So I relaxed a bit and forgot to worry for a moment.

Until yesterday.

Just as I was getting out of the shower and getting ready for work, I saw them. You cannot imagine the shock and horror on my face upon discovering what I had assumed to be under my supreme control. I was about to faint. But instead, being the hormone-ridden woman that I am, I chose to cry. Eeeyeahp..I bawled like a little girl that lost her ice cream while riding a bike. I cried like John Terry when they lost to Portugal. I wept like a newborn baby slapped by a doctor.

I knew there was nothing else I could do. They were there. All this time, geniusly hidden from my sight. And they've just exposed themselves to me. Had I not searched every nook, I would never have found them. I am defeated. They found me, much to my disappointment. And so I started to do the only thing I could really do at that point .. I moisturized.

Hello, Stretchmarks.

Righteously Insane

2006-08-04T20:03:00.000+08:00

captured it perfectly...

"Your woman doesn’t want you to buy her the world. She wants to become your world."

And really, that's all we've ever asked for.

Read the entire thing over at his crib.
PS. Righteously Insane, I will get around to eventually adding you to my blogroll. I promise. :D

People watching by myself

2006-08-04T19:39:00.000+08:00

Stuck in Gateway Foodcourt waiting for a friend to arrive.
It wasn't my fault. They just started showing up in these ghastly things. They were like those ducks that you shoot at at the carnival.

"okay. so there's this one dude who's all ghetto'd up but he looks like shit. like a black piece of shit. go home and bathe.

another dude in phoenix suns jersey. man, put some clothes on. one that covers those nasty ass armpits. and PS, the bling does not make you look any cooler. you still look like a jackass.

to that overcrowded table full of highschool kids, have some common courtesy for people who have actually bought food and need a table. your group is quite noticable. there are FIFTEEN of you crammed around ONE table for fuck's sake!

a foreigner and his latest monkey bride. ah, is this true love? because it couldn't possibly be anythng else but, right? i'm sure you have loads in common and talk endlessly about mattersof consequence, right? riiight.

oh, you there! yeah you! you judgmental pair of twits! don't you dare raise your eyebrow at me! do you want me to take you by those bushy, untrimmed brows and bang you against the side panel of a car? and as for you, clone number 2, i know where you got all your clothes from so don't you dare look down on the flipflops i have on. they're nike and they cost more than your entire wardrobe, cellphone, and the money in your savings account. that's right. run bitches!

oooh, fags. okay fine. *sulk* move it along. my karma says no fag bashing for today. your kind has had it bad."

All in the span of 5 minutes.
He better not be late. I'm paying for lodgings in hell in installments with the kind of people that parade right in front of me.

Must. Not. Look. Must. Not. Mock.

2006-08-02T19:05:00.000+08:00

If not roses, mixed tapes!
GAH!

There is no ORIGINAL idea left in the world.

*sniff*

*slit*

Bon Jovi is the final petal that broke the camel's back.

2006-08-02T18:41:00.000+08:00

I have nothing against being romantic. I think that a lack of romance in one's love life is awfully sad. But I do not dwell on it. I understand that men are only capable of romance the first month of being together and I don't hold that against them. Good for those ladies that have snagged a man capable of being romantic YEARS after they've been together or worse, married. Hats off to you. But I am not delusional. I know that not all men are quite a catch as these. And that's simply fine by me. My motto is, "Lowered expectations."

I've been surfing for hours looking for romantic ideas that I could use for content. Some are very original and others..well..I give an A for effort. But there's one thing I ABSOLUTELY cannot stand: rose petals on the bed. I swear, if I see another submitted idea one more time about romantic nights on a bed of roses, I will slit my throat with a jagged and rusty knife. I mean, of all the ideas that you can pull off the internet or romantic movies, you pick this one?! Where is everyone's head at?!

Look, I'm a reasonable girl. I mean, I like cliches from time to time..chocolates, roses, engagement rings, carriage rides..but a line has to be drawn somewhere. I'm sure there's nothing wrong with rose petals all over the room. I don't even mind cleaning it up in the morning. It's just that it has no character. It lacks depth and sincerity. It's like vanilla ice cream. It's a bit contrived and cheesy. It's mediocre. I can't even give it an A for effrot. Unless you live in Alaska and you had those roses shipped from Holland or something. There's not much to it. It's too plain. It's too boring. It's too..blah.

And it's shameful that 286 MEN submitted this as their ORIGINAL idea for a romantic night.
Tsk. Tsk.
Chivalry is truly dead.
And sleeps on rose petals.

We're still a long way from football season but..

2006-07-31T18:35:00.000+08:00

..come training day at Manchester United..

"Cristianoooooo! You're head is miiiine!!!"

uneditedmara unsolicited advice: Run Ronaldo! Run like the wind!

Decide to Love. A hippie post.

2006-07-24T15:24:00.000+08:00

Last Sunday, I realized that I did not know how to love. And because of that, I did not know how to forgive, give up my pride, or to simply be kind. And that was the saddest thought that had crossed my mind in a long time. I looked at the people that sat around me and wondered if they knew how to love. My guess was, only a handful really knew.

I never could bring myself to love my enemy. I skillfully avoided the confrontation by declaring them dead to me. See, that way, I never have to acknowledge how much they hurt me and how much I wanted to hate and hurt them in return. It was only a matter of time before I was reminded that the hardest task are the ones worth doing.

It is truly easier to love those that love you. And even then, their love is conditional. I should know, I've spent most of my life deluded in that kind of love. And it has hurt me far beyond what I lead people to believe. I was never too fond of prolonged self-pity but I did believe that you had the right to mourn for whatever grievances you harbored in your heart. But your tears will not change anything, your resolve will. So you rise from your fall and vow to be stronger and tougher the next time.

And you will be surprised when the next time comes, and He reveals to you that it never was about revenge or settling the score. It's all about humility and a great opportunity to show the world that not every wound has to hurt. So you let go of the pain, of all the time and energy spent calulating your moves, dissolving all that bitterness you've carried around, and decide to love.

Ruler of the Land

2006-07-24T14:18:00.000+08:00

If You Ruled the Land . . . by wackyweasel

Your first name:

How you gained your rule:

Your title is:

Your Majesty - straight-up, no fuss

Your symbol is:

a red dragon - fiery and hot, like you!

You rule from:

an ice palace - cold, but so, well, cool!

At your side is:

your standard-bearer, who doubles as a meat shield

Your enforcers, troops, and guards are all:

sexy elves with swords

Your most popular law is:

Free alcohol to pretty people if they sit with ugly people

Your least popular law is:

Regulation of a national favorite color

Your worst enemy is:

that last step down from the throne - it's steep!

Your popularity rating is:: 60%

Your chance of being overthrown is:: 13%

Quiz created with MemeGen!

A far cry from brown paper packages

2006-07-21T18:50:00.000+08:00

Dylan Crib System

It's for the baby, I swear! Look at it though. It's gorgeous and MULTI-FUNCTIONAL. And it grows along with your needs. It's for the baby, promise.

Dylan is currently only sold as a complete set to allow for all of its different features, configurations, and conversions. Extra storage drawers are an integral part of the base components and all drawer interiors are finished in orange lacquer. Made in the USA.

Crib: Converts first to a toddler bed and then to a modernist daybed. With optional extensions, the crib can also be converted to a bed platform for twin or full mattresses.

Dresser: Can be used as a changing table and can be separated from the convenient storage platform behind to be used as a separate piece. The storage platform comes with shelf and can be used as bookshelf, bar, or a twin bed headboard.

The Bonding Bench Provides a comfortable space for parents to sit closely to relax or play in the early years. In later years, when your child needs additional room, the bench transitions into a stylish ottoman for any other part of the house. Cushion can be removed and placed in daybed leaving you with a beautiful clean cocktail table.

And if I can't have that, I'll have one of these please.

Alex Crib

Isn't it the cutest thing?! I mean, it's adorable without being overly cutesie, you know? It's clean and minimalist. *wink* *wink* Now if only Philippe Starck went into the crib-making business...

Fixed side rails for added stability. 4 mattress height settings for easy reach. Converts to toddler bed with additional conversion kit. Platform style mattress support for added comfort. Option to personalize crib with choice of vinyl appliqués: girl, boy, fragile, bambino, this end up. Appliqué color options are yellow, blue, pink, and white. Custom appliqués available.

NEST High Chair

This just plain looks cool. Forget about all those chairs that want to look like wood. God knows that's a rare material to be used. At least this isn't pretentious. Very Meat Packing District as opposed to Upper East Side.

The NEST® High Chair combines minimalist form with superior function. The compact shape and stable powder coated tulip base enable NEST® to be pulled right into to the table with no tripping hazards. The UV stabilised polyethylene curved seat and tray simply wipe clean. A machine washable 5-point safety harness is supplied with NEST®.

Every NEST® High Chair is designed and built to last. This chair fits babies and children from 6 months to 6 years. The removable tray is suitable for baby feeding. For toddlers and young children who want to join the family at meal times, NEST® easily converts to a standard table height booster chair by removing the tray. Is your child too old for a high chair? In just moments NEST® converts to Nester - a cool low chair that will last you child to 6 years of age.

Do the Freddy

Of course, the baby's gotta keep up with his/her hotmomma in the style department. I will not have my child dressed from the bargain bin. But if ever, they will rock that shirt like it cost momma an arm and a leg.

Rockabye-baby

Not quite up there in the level of Gwen Stefani and Kingston but muy caliente! These are duds designed to bring this baby up the only way it's parents know how. WOOT! WOOT!

Black Ryder

I know that this is a piece to be bought after all the initial baby essentials but it just looks awesome! This ride has got some mean wheels (and bling, after momma is through). He/She'll be able to ride away after kicking some kid in the playground. Start 'em young, I say.

For something completely different, this recumbent tricycle is sure to do the trick. Made of top-quality painted steel, injection molded wheels, special design to prevent pinch points.

Sooty Snowman

2006-07-19T20:28:00.000+08:00

I got a little freaked when I found out I was pregnant. Selfishly, because I knew that my body would have to drastically change. We are talking about stretchmarks EVERYWHERE, people. Not to mention the swollen feet and fingers, the painful muscle pains, and constant restlessness. It came to a point where I just totally fruck out just because I had nothing to wear. Nothing in my closet fit me anymore. The issue wasn't that there was nothing to wear, really. It was more along the lines of, not recognizing any piece of clothing that was on my body. Billowy tops and stretchy pants were foreign concepts that I had to quickly adapt. Am I being pissy yet? I just didn't want to end up redneck, barefoot, and pregnant. I wanted to still be me, just rockin' a pregnant belly.

Fine.

The solution was to go shopping and borrow a couple of maternity clothes. Shopping was a delight except for the fact that the world expects me to strut around the city in lilacs and pinks with flower prints. What the hell?! I am seriously going to go into a cool line for hotmomma's to be. Because the last thing you want to look like before heading out is a frumpy snowman. If plus sized women can look good, I say, why not those women who are about to have their lives change forever? Can I get an amen? I breathed a small sigh of relief. The physical changes were a bitch, but having comfortable clothes cushioned the whole experience. I was blissfully ignorant until this week. Apparently, the changes aren't over, folks.

Not only do I have to stand to look like a walrus, unshaven and so very un-sexy, I apparently had to match my new figure (or lack thereof) with a new face. I introduce to you, the pregnancy mask. "Some women (again, more often darker-skinned ones) notice discoloration on the face too, especially in the area around the nose, forehead, cheeks, and eyes. It's called the mask of pregnancy (or chloasma) because it appears as a mask-like configuration on the face."

Pretty eh?

So it wasn't bad enough that I feel like I'm a truck but I have to look ugly as well?! Where the fuck was the pregnancy glow that everyone was talking about?! Why don't I just get that instead? I am just on the edge of my sanity here and this just might make me jump off.

My ever fashionable friend, Kaybs, gave me a pregnancy kit from Clarins that's supposed to help me with the phyical changes that I might be going. Initial reaction of Mommy Dearest? I cussed. Even this lady in the cover looks gorgeous while pregnant!

AAARRRGGGHHH!!!

I leave you with a lovely conversation about the joys of pregnancy.

*****
PHOEBE: Yes! I know! I know! Yeah! So the baby is totally craving meat. This afternoon I tried tricking it, I made it a soy-burger to make it think it was getting meat, y'know? And I got nauseous.
CHANDLER: Maybe that's because soy-burgers suck!
PHOEBE: Being pregnant is tough on your tummy.
JOEY: Hey, but at least you got that cool, pregnant lady glow.
PHOEBE: That's sweat. You throw up all morning, you'll have that glow too.
*****

PS.
I DO think this is a COOL idea though.

BELLY CAST!!!

LYRICS!

2006-07-19T15:25:00.000+08:00

After days of scouring the net, I finally found what the Azzurris were singing! HOOORAY! Now we can ALL sing along!

AZZURRO

Cerco l'estate tutto l'anno e all'improvviso eccola qua.
Leipartita per le spiagge e sono solo quass in citt
sento fischiare sopra i tetti un aeroplano che se ne va.
Azzurro, il pomeriggiotroppo azzurro e lungo per me
mi accorgo di non avere pi risorse senza di te
e allora io quasi quasi prendo il treno e vengo, vengo a te.
Il treno dei desideri nei miei pensieri all'incontrario v.

Sembra quand'ero all'oratorio, con tanto sole, tanti anni fa.
Quelle domeniche da solo in un cortile, a passeggiar
ora mi annoio pi di allora, neanche un prete per chiacchierar.

Azzurro, il pomeriggiotroppo azzurro e lungo per me
mi accorgo di non avere pi risorse senza di te
e allora io quasi quasi prendo il treno e vengo, vengo a te.
Il treno dei desideri nei miei pensieri all'incontrario v.

Cerco un p d'Africa in giardino, tra l'oleandro e il baobab
come facevo da bambino, ma qui c' gente, non si pu pi.
Stanno innaffiando le tue rose, non c' il leone, chiss dov'.

Azzurro, il pomeriggiotroppo azzurro e lungo per me
mi accorgo di non avere pi risorse senza di te
e allora io quasi quasi prendo il treno e vengo, vengo a te.
Il treno dei desideri nei miei pensieri all'incontrario v.

ITALIA: The ups and downs

2006-07-17T16:47:00.000+08:00

I couldn't sleep a wink last week just because I knew that the Italian tribunal was to decide the Seria A powerhouse's fates. I was all nerves. But I think at the back of my mind I already knew what the committee had decided. What was left was to announce it to the whole world. Read the scandal and the relegations. I can't bear to put it down on my blog.

But I consoled myself with better times..
- Gattuso getting "punk'd"
- Gattuso shows "affection" for Marcelo Lippi
- the Italia squad "singing" for a charity organization
- del Piero and Totti outtakes
- and that it's NEVER wrong to show a little "man-love"

Momentary relapse

2006-07-14T22:22:00.000+08:00

Just before I was to shut down the PC, I decided to head over to Tiffy's LJ and check out what the bitch has been up to. (I love reading your entries, dude! They make me feel sane!) The mistake that I made was to go screwing around and clicking everyone else's journal. I just sorta tumbled into HER'S.

Ugh.
She was one of them.
Ugh.

I just couldn't leave it alone. It was just like a scab that HAD to be picked on. And so I picked..and prodded..and scratched. And in the end, it hurt like hell. So now, I remember why I hated her and all the people in her category. I hate her! I hate them! GAH! Why the hell was I so snoopy?! I thought I had gotten rid of this crippling addiction but seems like old habits die hard.

POTANGHINAPAKINGSHET!

*end scene*

I tra-la-la-la-la off into the sunset.

Retraction

2006-07-14T22:02:00.000+08:00

I don't take back what I said a couple of hours ago.

But..

I promise I WILL be in a better mood. All because of two idiots who decide that it was good to muck about with me this week. And, God bless their scheming little hearts, they actually pulled a con on me without breaking into laughter. They led me to believe that one of them was in serious quarter-life crisis. The other was just a superb (naks!) supporting actress. And the best part of the whole Punk'd week? Pig out night at North Park. I thought it was all work and no fun from now on. But the grasshoppers have done well.

So tonight, I am sending out good vibes to everyone.

Here we are.
The three stooges waiting for their flight.
Ah, the good 'ol days.

Peace peeps.

Song post

2006-07-14T16:41:00.000+08:00

You Oughta Know
by Alanis Morissette

I want you to know, that I am happy for you
I wish nothing but the best for you both
An older version of me
Is she perverted like me?
Would she go down on you in a theater?
Does she speak eloquently
And would she have your baby? I
'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother

'Cause the love that you gave that we made
Wasn't able to make it enough for you
To be open wide, No
And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me
You'd hold me until you died
Till you died, but you're still alive

And I'm here, to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It's not fair, to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know

You seem very well, things look peaceful
I'm not quite as well, I thought you should know
Did you forget about me, Mr. Duplicity?
I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner
It was a slap in the face
How quickly I was replaced
And are you thinking of me when you fuck her?

Ohh... aah... ahh... ahh...
'Cause the joke that you laid in the bed
That was me and I'm not gonna fade
As soon as you close your eyes, and you know it
And every time I scratch my nails
Down someone else's back I hope you feel it
Well, can you feel it?

2006-07-14T16:26:00.000+08:00

Oh. My. God.

I deserve so much better than this.

MUCH.

I am NOT juvenile.

2006-07-14T16:10:00.000+08:00

I want what everybody else wants, revenge.
Is that too much to ask?

Nowadays, I can't just pick a fight out of the blue whenever I feel the need to. Oh, no. The fucking things have to be fucking scheduled now. Well, I simply do not have the time nor the energy to replay hateful thoughts and sarcastic comebacks at a more appropriate time and setting. I mean, if we're going at each other's throats, we might as well just do it here and now rather than wait for the weekend. Oh, I'm sorry. Are my emotions getting in the way of your hectic schedule? Well, I'll just have to book an appointment to argue with you over the weekend then. Does that work for you? Let me know because I'm here just to accomodate your every fucking whim.

Fine. I'm mad but I don't let you know. I mean, I wouldn't want to be an inconvenience to anyone, right? But I think that it is only FUCKING FAIR that if I take that kind of crap from you, you take the same fucking crap from me. It's not being juvenile. It's getting EVEN. It's called fair play, asshole. And sometimes, it's not even about getting revenge. I just want you to feel the same way you make me feel. You already got away without so much as a peep from me, I think it's just fair that you go through the same thing I went though.

I want to cry foul as hard as I can because honestly, I think I'm getting the shortest end of the stick here. Hell, I don't think I even have a stick to hold on to! But I suck it up the best as I can and I hardly demand for anything out of the ordinary. You should be thanking your lucky fucking stars that I haven't come up with insane requests. Believe me, I have a bagful of them and I was so looking forward to asking for a couple. But I'm just scared that you might turn into a whiny spoiled brat, so I don't. I just shut up about it. Well, I think I've held my tongue long enough.

If you want to play this game, you better be able to take what you dish. You fucking started it, asshole.

80 things you might not know about me

2006-07-13T19:44:00.000+08:00

Can you tell that I'm bored?

Whats your middle name?
O.

How big is your bed?
A pull-out couch. Does that answer the question?

What are you listening to right now?
Poker bluffs from the Bosses.

What are the last 4 digits in your cellphonenumber?
1102

What was the last thing you ate?
Ecstasy from Hungry Pac.

Last person you hugged?
I don't remember.

How is the weather right now?
There's a storm threatening to tear down my building.

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
My sister.

What is the first thing you notice in the opposite sex?
It's a tie between the smile and the eyes.

Favorite type of food.
Edible. Nowadays, anything goes.

Do you want children?
Guess the answer to that question.

Do you drink?
Ah..the days when I COULD drink.

Ever get so drunk you don't remember the entire night?
Who hasn't?

Hair color?
Brown..?

Eye colour?
Brown..?

Do you wear contacts/glasses?
Yeah. But I think I better get new ones.

Favorite holiday?
Tough one. I want to say Christmas but I haven't had a lot of good ones..I'm gonna go with Independence Day.

Favorite Season?
Winter can be such a bitch but I loved it.

Have you ever cried over a girl/boy?
No comment.

Last Movie you Watched?
The Lake House.

What books are you reading?
I'm reading Sophie's World and the Dot and the Line: A Romance in Lower Mathematics to my tummy.

Favorite Movie?
Don't get me started..

Favorite college football Team?
Blue Devils

What were you doing before filling this out?
Catching up on Italian football. hehe..

Any pets?
LOTS.

Dogs or cats?
LOTS.

Favorite Flower?
Stargazers.

Have you ever loved someone?
You could say that.

Who would you like to see right now?
My mom.

Have you ever fired a gun?
No comment. Trial pending.

Do you like to travel by plane?
YES!

Right-handed or Left-handed?
Righty.

If you could go to any place right now where would you go?
Prolly the beach. Just hang out and tan and pig out the whole day. Or maybe just at home, being waited on hand and foot also sounds good.

Are you missing someone?
Of course.

Do you have a tattoo?
Ha.

Do you still watch cartoons on Saturday mornings?
Yes. When I'm not being dragged out, half-asleep, and in my PJ's to catch the first showing at the movies.

Are you hiding something from someone?
Aren't we all?

ARE YOU 18?
Dahling, I'm years beyond that number.

WHAT IS THE WALLPAPER ON YOUR CELLPHONE?
Me. What? I look pretty. Bugger off.

DID YOU GET ENOUGH SLEEP LAST NIGHT?
No. I never get enough sleep. Especially now that the kiddo has just discovered the wonders of kicking me all night long.

FIRST THING YOU THOUGHT ABOUT THIS MORNING?
"I need more sleep."

WHAT DO YOU HAVE HANDY AT YOUR BEDSIDE?
My Creative. My phone. Pillows and Branko.

GRILLED OR FRIED?
Both.

WHAT MAKES YOU UNIQUE?
I just am.

ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
Sometimes I scare myself.

FAVORITE HANGOUT?
The mall. My house. Mac's house.

3 THINGS YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT?
Food. People. Movies.

FAVORITE SONG?
Currently..Me mancherai. The theme from Il Postino.

WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF?
Losing my memory. Having a bad fashion sense. Being a bad parent.

ARE YOU A GIVER OR TAKER?
Both.

WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
...

WHAT IS YOUR DADS MIDDLE NAME?
C.

WHATS YOUR MOTHERS MIDDLE NAME?
Z.

STUCK ON A DESERTED ISLAND & COULD TAKE ONE THING?
A fully equipped boat. Duh.
OR
Captain Jack Sparrow.

FAVORITE T.V. COMMERCIAL?
From Apple. Think Different.

WHO'S YOUR CELL PHONE PROVIDER?
Sun. That came out funny.

FIRST THING YOU'LL SAVE IN A FIRE?
Papers and important documents.

Whats your favorite color?
Black.

WHAT ARE THE THINGS YOU ALWAYS TAKE WITH YOU?
My phone, wallet, and pills.

WHAT DID YOU WANNA BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID?
A lot of things. Doctor, stewardess (I know, dream on!), forensic scientist, painter, photographer..

WHAT DO YOU USUALLY DO WHEN THE CLOCK TURNS 11:11?
Nothing. I'm usually flipping through the telly.

THE COLOR OF YOUR BEDSHEEt?
White.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT BEFORE YOU GO TO BED?
Random things.

The Succession of Becks

2006-07-13T16:53:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry I have no other postings of worth nowadays. I'm either still in a high celebrating the win of Italia or moping about the pregnancy. I'm distracting myself with Premiership transfers and gossip as of the moment. A month away sounds like FOREVER. In any case, I give myself this to tide me over.

A very good piece on why John "Teary" Terry is not the man to lead England.
Alternate title: Gero the Hero

A more accurate recap

2006-07-11T20:29:00.000+08:00

My buddies and I trooped over to Murphy's around midnight to witness the greats battle it out. It was going to be Italy vs France. All of my friends (who cared about football) were torn on who should become champions. Even I was having a hard time rooting my team on because you could see the determination of the other squad. On one hand, you have an aging French team that deserved a last hurrah. On the other, you had...the Italians. There was just no denying that they were, Lulubelle: ismoot.., uneditedmara: iswabi...

I left the house a little after midnight and told Lulubelle to save us seats. I told her to pee around our table if need be. Apparently peeing inside the bar was frowned upon so she had to resort wrestling every last piece of seat from other drunken supporters.

Nothing could have prepared me for the glorious night ahead. Fuck that I didn't get any sleep. The baby will understand. It was the WOLRD CUP, after all. I just made it up to it by stuffing myself with bar food.

Lulubelle and I have already loved the Italian team the moment we really got to know them. They were an idiotic bunch. And that just spurned us on. Not to metion that they have KILLER BODIES. Uh-huh. They do. And there's no denying that. We've spent two days just tracking down their commercials and photo spreads. We were well rewarded.

15 seconds into the game and Henry is down. WTF?! Well, that would be great if he was just injured so I didn't have to have a mini-heart attack everytime he ran for their goal. There's just something artistic about Thierry when he has control of the ball.

Ah. Hello Ribery. We meet again. Lulubelle and I just call him Rat. He looks like one. I know it's mean. Satan's got a ledger full of our names in it. We can no longer sell our souls in exchange for a favor from the Dark Lord. We're up to our ears in debt. It's not our fault that Ribery looks spaced out everytime their anthem is played. He's just asking for it. But he does scare me when he takes advantage on the pitch. Thank God he was finally substituted.

Both goals were scored in the first half. We've got a game, people!
WOOT!!! WOOT!!!
GO AZZURRIS!!!

Second half brought more excitement. But no goals. In our opinion, the Italians really should've finished the French off. There was no way they were getting away with penalties. I mean with the history that they've had. They were shite. Not really. Let's just say that it's not their strongest suit.

Extra time and the bar is just going nuts. I can count that there are just about 6 Italian supporters. Everyone was on Zizou's team. If only they knew the humiliation that they would suffer come penalties. And penalties did come. But not after the VERY controversial Zizou headbutt. You don't know about it? Maybe this would paint a better picture. Still nothing? How about this? Last one, I promise.

We all wait with baited breath as the referee consulted his linesmen.
RED CARD.
Personally, that was a cool, kick ass way to go out rather than just to get applauded off the field. Muy caliente, Papa Zidane.
But that ended it right there for France.
No Ribery. No Henry. No Zidane.
Like taking candy from a baby.

Penalties came.
Penalties were won.

It was over.
ITALIA WINS.
The celebrations were as exciting as the game itself. Totti becoming a babushka, Gattuso half-nekkid, Cannavaro 'dancing', and Camonaresi getting cut, were just a couple of the celebration highlights.

We all went home lightheaded.
From either the celebrations or the disbelief of loss.

And now, a gratuitous post of the winning team courtesy of D&G.

And just one more for Il Capitano, Cannavaro.

He's got the stamina of a horse and he can lick.
Ngah.

Little Princess

2006-07-11T19:59:00.000+08:00

No man will ever claim you unless he claims you from Me.

For i reserved a man for you, who has My heart and loves Me even more than he will love you. For I wont give you unless he asks you from Me.

He's asleep. Dont wake him. He's busy for Me, for My kingdom. Soon you will know him, but in My perfect timing.

You're My princess, My daughter.

Let no prince claim you unless he asks from My hand, for I am your Father, the King of Kings.
You, My princess are worth waiting for.

-- Jesus

stolen from Tia
*****

Somtimes I forget. I forget that I am special. I forget that I am supposed to inherit all the good things He's planned for me.

I have gone ahead and planned for myself. And I am guilty of impatience and distrust. I feel foolish and ashamed that I have forgotten my Father's words.

There ARE better things for me. Although I may feel like a pauper now and undeserving of all the greatness, I am entitled to it simply because I am His daughter. This is a big leap from never having really belonged to a family.

The greatest part of it all? He loves me. UNCONDITIONALLY. More than any earthly Father could.

THE CHAMPIONS OF THE WORLD

2006-07-10T12:44:00.000+08:00

ITALIA!

I am too tired to create an accurate article or post very questionable pictures of the glorious night but I soon will. I just came from watching the game and I am dead tired. I can barely type this thing up. But I can tell you that I am a VERY, VERY, VERY happy. And with thoughts of victory in my mind, I will sleep the sleep of the dead and tomorrow will be a great day. Thank you to Cannavaro, Gattuso, Totti, and Gigi for starting my week off PERFECTLY!

Bellisimo Italia! Bellisimo!

Current Obssessions, Italian Team edition

2006-07-06T19:20:00.000+08:00

Italy's captain marvel and my (family) namesake (somewhat), Il Capitano della nazionale,
Fabio Cannavaro.

And the Italian Mean Machine, Gennaro Gattuso.
Don't let the thick beard fool you. He is a smooth operator on the pitch.

AZUL FOR THE AZURRIS!

Life after Becks

2006-07-06T18:40:00.000+08:00

Needless to say, England lost to Portugal in the semis. Needless to say, it was a restless and painful night. But I can't dwell on that for long because the finals are only a couple of days away.

Italy versus France.

It's gonna be one awesome World Cup. Have you noticed that I haven't blogged about the WC lately? It's because I've been fatigued the whole week trying to watch their match at 3 in the morning. I've been a wreck eversince and I don't think my writing prowess are at their sharpest today. I will leave you with linky links [Hey mambo! Mambo Italiano! Afternoon Delight] from a fellow addict that will have to suffice for the moment. Maybe I'll get around to actually leaving a personal post, but don't hold your breath because I'm beat.

But I will leave you with England hopes for the future.

Following Beckham

By Phil McNulty
Chief football writer in Baden Baden

McClaren must decide who will become England's new captain One of the first tasks for new England manager Steve McClaren will be to decide who to appoint as captain. The skipper's armband is up for grabs following David Beckham's decision on Sunday to stand down following six years in the job.

McClaren has less than seven weeks to make his selection before the new man takes charge of England's friendly against Greece on 16 August.

BBC Sport looks at the contenders that are in the frame for the position.

JOHN TERRY (1/2 FAVOURITE)
John Terry is the inspirational Chelsea leader and world-class defender who has shed a bad-boy image to develop into a hugely-respected professional.
The 25-year-old had some uncertain moments at the World Cup, but was magnificent against Portugal, despite suffering the disappointment of picking up a yellow card that would have ruled him out of a potential semi-final.

He never held back, and this is the style that makes him the early favourite to succeed Beckham.

Terry's experience in leading Chelsea to two consecutive Premiership titles prove he is capable of handing the pressures of England captaincy.

The centre-back has 29 caps to his name.

STEVEN GERRARD (2/1)
Liverpool midfielder Steven Gerrard would be a superb choice - a world-class player and a captain who has occasionally carried his club single-handedly since he was appointed by Gerard Houllier.

Gerrard has been inspirational as Liverpool skipper.

The recent history made at Anfield could not have been written without the influence of this magnificent driving force of a midfield man.

The 26-year-old, who has won 47 caps, resurrected Liverpool on the night of their famous Champions League win against AC Milan in Istanbul in 2005, heading the first goal and also winning a penalty.

He also scored two stunning goals in the FA Cup final win against West Ham United, including a strike from 35 yards in injury time.

Gerrard is arguably the finest player in his position in world football, although he was not well utilised by outgoing England coach Sven-Goran Eriksson.

Very honest with a steely determination, no-one could argue if he landed the job.

GARY NEVILLE (5/1)
Gary Neville would make an excellent England captain, but will he play in the European Championship in two years' time? He is hardly likely to be around in South Africa in 2010.
This surely rules him out of the race to succeed Beckham.

He is a major dressing room influence, happy to say his piece in private and capable of stirring public speaking - he gave the most memorable interview of England's World Cup campaign before the defeat against Portugal.

The 31-year-old is still the first choice right-back in the absence of serious competition, and took the armband when Beckham went off injured against Portugal.

The Manchester United player has won 81 caps but is an outsider and is unlikely to claim the role.

FRANK LAMPARD (8/1)
Chelsea's Frank Lampard had a desperately disappointing World Cup, but his recent achievements mean he should not be written off.

He is unlikely to be chosen ahead of his captain at club level, Terry, and will now concentrate on regaining his best form at international level. This will not come with the burden of the England captaincy.

RIO FERDINAND (12/1)
Ferdinand is also a contender, but Terry remains the favourite.

Manchester United defender Rio Ferdinand is a quality player, but there are better candidates to captain England.

He has had concentration problems in the past which led to Eriksson dropping him for a World Cup tie against Austria.

It will be better to leave Ferdinand to keep his mind on defensive duties rather than clutter it up with greater responsibility.

MICHAEL OWEN (14/1)
Injury-plagued Newcastle striker Michael Owen has been Eriksson's vice captain but his latest injury problems mean he will be watching McClaren's first game in charge from the sidelines.
That probably ends any outside chance of him taking over from Beckham.

But a fully-fit and functioning Owen is likely to be one of the first names on the teamsheet so it would be no surprise if he continued as the new skipper's second in command.

*Odds are from William Hill

2006-06-30T20:44:00.000+08:00

It just hasn't been my week is all.
Nothing too fucked up or difficult.
I'm suffering from one of those mediocre days..
..weeks..
..months..

Think I should snap out of it soon?
Or wallow just a few weeks more?

Body feels tired.
Functioning but weak.

I just know that we're going to have a HUGE fight tomorrow.
I can feel it in my bones.
You can't have survived 5 years without knowing these things.

I'm worried that I might have ingested too much MSG or imbibed more than the usual amount of caffeine. I'm becoming more paranoid as the days draw near. Extremely paranoid. Maybe it's the product of my boredom.

I've found myself plotting against a frenemy.
The end result is not death, mind you.
Just psychological warfare is all.
I mean, they're just asking for it.
At least it's something to distract me.
This gray-colored job is testing my ADD.

Can someone please keep track of my thoughts.
They're spilling out of my brain.
I can't hold them in.
It's like I have a mental leak or something.

Descending to the Top, A Graduation Speech

2006-06-30T19:53:00.000+08:00

March 26, 2006
Descending to the Top
Delivered byMr. Menardo "Butch" G. Jimenez Jr.
Senior Vice-President, Retail Business Group PLDT OIC,
WirelessConsumer Division, Smart Communications

It is a privilege of mine to be here. In 2003, I was requested to be the commencement speaker for the graduating class of the University of the Philippines-Diliman. And after I gave that address, I said to myself-and this is true-the only other invitation that I will accept after UP Diliman is Silliman University. I have actually been waiting for almost three years. And I would have waited 30 more years to address you. You may be asking, "Why is that?" It is simply because of the Christian roots and the Christian heritage that this university has; the same roots and the same heritage that my great grandmother, my grandmother, and even my mother have tried to instill in my life. That is why I am here. So thank you very much for the privilege. I am actually quite excited to address all of you.

One of the questions running in your mind today as you graduate and move forward is, "How do I reach the top?" A fair question and one that needs to be answered. And since I now presently handle marketing for both PLDT and Smart, let me share with you some marketing principles that I have learned, that may guide you on your quest to the top.

A battle for the mind Success in marketing is a battle to be the first in the mind of the consumer.That is the principle proposed in the '80s by two authors, Al Ries and Jack Trout, in their classic book, "Positioning."

Ries and Trout said that success in marketing is a battle to be the first in the mind of the consumer.If you are first in the mind of the consumer, in most cases, you will rise to the top and become the leader or number one. So, the battle is to be the first in the mind.

Let's give a couple of examples. When I say cola, what comes first in your mind? It's Coke. And today, Coke has risen to the top and is number one. When you say beer, the first thing that comes into your mind is San Miguel. They are first in the mind, they are at the top, and they are the leader. When you say toothpaste, in most cases, what comes to mind is Colgate. The same rule holds true. Colgate is at the top of your mind, and they are number one. When you say photocopier, it's Xerox. They are first in the mind, they are the leader, and they have risen to the top. Let's try something more hip for the new generation kids. When you say mp3 player, what's first in your mind. I can actually read your mind. The iPod. They are first in the mind, they are at the top, and today, they are number one. So, in many instances, the rule actually works. If you want to rise to the top, you have to be the first in the mind.

The second thing that Al Ries and Jack Trout talked about, aside from being the first in the mind of the consumer, is burning an attribute or a characteristic in the minds of the consumers.

For example, Volvo did that. They burned into the mind of the consumer the attribute of safety. If you want a safe car, Volvo is it. iPod, for example, is burning in all our minds the attribute of being cool. They want to drive into our minds that the Ipod is the coolest gadget in the universe today.

So, two concepts we learn from Marketing to reach the top: Be the first in the mind and burn an attribute in the mind. Then, you start rising to the top.

So what does this all mean to you, as you go out into the workplace?

If you guys want to start rising to the top, you have to do the same thing. You have to be the first or the top of mind amongst the people that you work for specially your boss. When the boss needs something done, you have to be the first in his mind. If you're just the third, or the fourth, or the fifth, or the tenth in his mind, you're just like a company that is in third, fourth or fifth position -- far, far away from rising to the top.

But like I said earlier, being top of mind is not enough. You also have to burn an attribute in his mind. Now, a slight word of caution. Burning an attribute in your boss's or co-worker's mind is a double-edged sword. You have to make sure that you burn a positive attribute and not a negative one. Ries and Trout explain that it is very difficult or next to impossible to dislodge an attribute in ones mind once it has been established. If you go into the workplace and the attribute you burn in your boss's mind is tatamad tamad ka (you're lazy), mahirap kang pakisamahan(you're not a team player), or di ka mapagkakatiwalaan (you're not trustworthy) then chances are, that attribute will stick in his mind for years to come and you'll have a hard time rising to the top.

How many classmates do you know have been branded "lazy", "a flirt", "playboy", "cheater" etc. Think about it, no matter how hard they try to change their image, it just sticks and is so hard to dislodge from your mind isn't it? That's how powerful burning an attribute in the mind is, positive or negative.

So, key lessons if you want to rise to the top is, you have to be the first in their mind and you must burn positive attributes in their mind.

Discipline

This leads me to the question, "What attribute should you burn in the minds of the people in today's world?" There are many attributes that I would have wanted to share with you, but in the interest of time, I will focus on two.

The first one is the attribute of discipline. If we want to be able to compete not only with our peers, but with the best in the world, we have no choice. As a person, as a people, and as a country, we have to be disciplined.

Discipline is a very fascinating thing. In the world of competition, you're always competing with somebody else. There is Smart competing with Globe, There is GMA competing with ABS-CBN, there is Sony competing with Samsung, and the list goes on. But when it comes to discipline, you are not competing with anybody else. You are only competing with yourself. And if you lose, guess who actually loses, only you.

A year and a half ago, I went to a leadership conference in Singapore that put together and assembled some of the best speakers in the world. I actually had to pay a huge amount-probably my whole month's salary-just to be able to enter that conference. Al Ries was speaking. Film legend, Francis Ford Coppola was speaking, Rudy Giuliani, who led New York to rise from the 911 crisis, was speaking and Lee Kuan Yew, Prime Minister of Singapore was one of the speakers.

I wanted to listen to Lee Kuan Yew and what he had to say. Lee Kuan Yew shared how he built Singapore from nothing to where it is today. He shared that Singapore, barely a generation ago, was far worse than many of its peers. But today, it is an economic superpower. He narrated that when he first started to lead Singapore, he asked his think tank to visit neighboring countries like the Philippines, Indonesia, Vietnam, Laos, Cambodia, and figure out what they don't have. He said they all came back with one conclusion: These countries lacked discipline. So to differentiate Singapore from its neighbors, he decided to build his country on discipline. This meant that if Singapore promised something to its people, to its foreign investors, and to other countries, it will be fulfilled. A disciplined country and a disciplined people-that's what he built Singapore on.

Discipline is a very important attribute all of us must have to be able to bring this country up from where it is today. If you want to reach your goals and dreams, you cannot do it without discipline.

One of my good friends is the president of Alaska Milk, Fred Uytengsu. I used to see him on the baseball field when he used to coach his son's team and I was an assistant for my son's team. One day, I saw him wearing a shirt that said, "If you don't have discipline, you don't deserve to dream." No matter how harsh it may seem, the point is true. If you're 350 lbs. overweight and you're dreaming to become the next big hunk, but you don't have the discipline to watch what you eat, to exercise, and to make it happen, it isn't going to happen. Don't even bother dreaming, if you don't have the discipline to make it a reality. You'll just get frustrated. That's how important discipline is in achieving success.

In the world of business, discipline is defined as work ethic. I'd like to share with you an anecdote from a great man who epitomized what work ethic is all about. Thomas Alba Edison. At the age of 82, the President of the United States said it was about time he was honored with an award for his lifetime work. So they put together a huge event in honor of Thomas Alba Edison. Being 82, he felt a bit sick that night and fainted. Good thing they were able to revive him and he was still able to go up on stage. Edison upon accepting the award simply said, "I am tired of all this glory. I want to get back to work." 82 years old, and all he can think of is going back to work.

That is work ethic. That is discipline. And that is one of the attributes we need to burn in people's minds if we are to rise to the top.

Execution

The second attribute we should burn is execution. We need to be able to drive in the minds of the people that we work with that we are the "go-to" guy. That if they want to make something happen, you are the guy to go to, because you are the person who can execute. Execution is one of the attribute that will help you rise to the top.

I'd like to quote one of the greatest mentors of all time who said to his pupil: "Luke, there is no try. There is either do or not do." You know who that is? That is Yoda teaching Luke Skywalker of Star Wars one of the most important lessons in life: execution or making it happen.

An icon of execution, of course, is Michael Jordan. He is arguably one of the greatest basketball players that ever lived, but not without getting the ball, taking that shot, and executing the play. Can you imagine what would have happened to Michael if all he ever did was to plan on shooting the ball but never did? One of the things you have to remember about execution though is that it doesn't mean you have to be successful everysingle time. Part of execution is learning how to fail yet rising up again. Michael Jordan says this, "I missed more than 9,000 shots in my career and lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions, I have been entrusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I have failed over and over and over again in my life, and that's precisely why I succeed."

When you go out to the real world, you will realize that there are many people out there who have great ideas and great plans. And that is good. But like I always tell my team in PLDT, what separates the good from the great is execution. We can spend endless hours and tons of money strategizing, planning, team building, and analyzing to come out with a great plan. But until we execute that plan, that's all it will ever be, a plan.

When something goes wrong in a company, the question the leader or the CEO almost always asks is not, "Who has the best grades?" "Who has a diploma?" "Who has all the awards?" "Who is the summa cum laude?" "Who graduated from an Ivy league school?" The CEO just asks one question: "Who can get the job done?" That, dear graduates is the importance of execution.

Let's learn a lesson from Mickey Mouse. Well, maybe not from Mickey, but from his originator, Walt Disney. Walt had four mantras: dreaming, believing, daring, and then doing. Of the four, "doing" is what turns everything into a reality. Walt said, "Dreaming, believing and daring without doing is just like Dumbo, the elephant, without ears. It just won't fly. ABRAKADABRA will never work." Only execution does.

Descending to the Top

In my UP speech, I talked to them about "what's better than," and I juxtaposed what's better than this versus what's better than that. Now, all of us want to ascend to the top. No doubt about it. And we should. We should plan on ascending all the ay to the top. But I will pose the same question I did three years ago: "What's better than ascending to the top?" The answer is DESCENDING to the top.

That may actually baffle a lot of your minds. "What is he talking about?" "How can descending to the top be better than ascending to the top?" It is a biblical principle. The Bible tells us that he who wishes to be the greatest must be the servant of all. That is the concept of descending to the top.

What I want to share with you is that as you rise to the top, the more you have to be a servant. The keyword is humility. The more you start rising to the top, the more humility needs to become an important place in who you are and in your life.

I want to share with you what happened to Steve Jobs the founder of Apple computers and now the Ipod. We all know what a great visionary Steve Jobs is. But if we chronicle his career, Steve Jobs, as he was ascending to the top, as he was rising towards greatness, forgot all about humility. While he was hitting his peak, all he thought about was how great he was, how fantastic he was, and how the world and his company revolved around him. That is ascending to the top. The higher you go, the bigger your head.

What happened to Steve Jobs as he hit the peak? He was driven out of his company both in failure and in disgrace. Then after having failed in many other endeavors, he started again and went on to make an indelible mark in the entertainment industry, and with the extraordinary success of the iPod, regained his reputation as the "greatest innovator of the digital age". And so Steve Jobs, after having ascended to the top and then unceremoniously booted out, now gets the chance to lead Apple again. But something was different about the man this time.

People started to feel Steve had changed. And so in a big conference at the Moscone Center in San Francisco , there he was, listening to the chants of his people, demanding him to come back and run Apple again. Let me share with you how the new Steve answered the call. No longer ascending to the top, but understanding what descending to the top is all about. And I will quote from the book, "Icon: The greatest second act in business".

For the first time in his public life, there on stage, Steve appeared genuinely touched when the people were starting to ask him to come back and take the CEO position. He wasn't brash or cocky anymore. Maybe his four kids and the complete failure of a company and the near failure of another taught him something. There on stage, he fought back the tears as he mumbled something to make it clear that yes, even Steve Jobs can change.

He had made the transition into a world where feelings and passion could partner with business and technology. Steve Jobs said, "You guys are making me feel funny right now. I get to come to work with the most talented people on the planet at Apple and Pixar. The best job in the world! But these jobs are team sports. I cannot do it alone; I can only do it with a team."

A team sport. Fifteen years ago, it would have been a lie. It would have been all about him and how great he was. But now, everything was different. He now understood that it was really the many others who helped him succeed. He did realize it wasn't all about him. That Apple is a team sport.

That is descending to the top - the higher you fly, the lower the ego.

If you're able to get a copy of Time Magazine's issue where they declared who their Man of the Year was for 2005 you'll see their choice was Bill Gates. But not because of what Bill Gates has done for Microsoft. Not because he revolutionized the computer industry. But because of what Bill Gates has started to do for humanity. If you read that article, Bill realizes that this is probably the generation where if health care were given enough resources, he can actually make a big difference in millions of people's lives. And that has become the man's passion and advocacy, donating billions to uplift the health of poverty stricken nations. This today is what truly defines him; no longer his technological achievements. It is now about serving and helping other people. In other words, descending to the top.

A heart for our Country

Finally, as you rise to the top you should never lose your heart for our country.
I always tell my team in PLDT, that yes, we have a business to run, but let us never forget we also have a country to serve. And that is the same thing I will tell you as you guys rise to the top. You will have businesses to run, you will have your own careers to take care of, and you will have your own dreams to pursue, but never forget you have a country to serve.

You may ask, "How? How do I serve the country?" One way is actually quite simple. I'll give it to you in one word. If you are great, if you are smart, if you are the best, if you have a Silliman education, then, please STAY. Just stay in the country. You would have actually done a great service to our country just by staying.

But if you can't stay, or you don't want to stay, that's fine. If you think you want to make it out there in the world, that's a-ok with me. But I want to ask two things of you.

First, go out there and show the whole world how great the Filipino is. In whatever field you're in, prove to the world how special we Filipinos truly are.

Second, don't just plan to COME back. Plan to GIVE back to the country. If you do that, if every Filipino who goes out there into the world - and there are millions of us already -- proves to everybody how great the Filipino is, and not only plans to come back, but actually plans to give back to this country, in less than one generation, we will be an evengreater nation.

I will end with what I told the UP students in 2003. You must be asking yourselves, "How do I reach my dreams?" or "How far can I go?" I told them this: In the last 42 years of my life, I have realized one thing, "There is no destination beyond the reach of those who walk with God."

So when you go out there in the world, take God's hand and walk with him. Because when you do, whatever destination it is you are hoping to reach, if God walks with you and takes you through, there will be no destination beyond your reach.

To the graduating class of 2006, I will meet you at the top and nowhere else!

Heihachi Mishima

2006-06-30T15:39:00.000+08:00

The first job that I had was working in New York was for this clothing store. The owners were Korean. And there was something about my boss, Mr. Jin. He spoke very little and treated his employees like they were his children. Well, we were at the same age as his only son, so that might have had something to do with it.

He strangely reminded me of someone. Someone cool. Someone awesome. Someone I would bow down to obey. Someone like..Heihachi Mishima.

It made your hair stand on end just being beside him. It was like being in the presence of greatness. Except that greatness could break every bone in your body and leave you in a humiliating heap.

What the WORLD CUP really means to us..

2006-06-28T20:48:00.000+08:00

A conversation between 2 bored people that ends with a story that showcases the triumph of humanity. Go figure.

lulubelle3: i forget the name.
lulubelle3: gu...?
uneditedmara: ahdunno
lulubelle3: i forget
lulubelle3: ung mukhang terorista
lulubelle3: balbas sarado, may tattoo sa right forearm
lulubelle3: hahanapin ko
lulubelle3: sya! sya po ang may sala...

Gatuso Genarro

uneditedmara: doooood.
uneditedmara: preso.
lulubelle3: sabi ko sa yo eh
lulubelle3: sya si righio (or something)
uneditedmara: I'm scared.
uneditedmara: there's a reason to lock your doors at night
lulubelle3: chongs kayang kang bilin ng presong yan
lulubelle3:

Andrea Barzagli

uneditedmara: potah.
uneditedmara: eto.
uneditedmara: eye candy...
uneditedmara: tangena. sarap gahasain o.
lulubelle3: onga eh
lulubelle3: defend me, defend meeeeeee!
lulubelle3: anak ni david spade saka ni steve buscemi:

Filipo Inzaghi

uneditedmara: gaguuuuu!
uneditedmara: sama mo!
lulubelle3: di ba?
uneditedmara: he does exude sarcasm and cannibalism
lulubelle3: i was just about to type naiwan nila yung anak na yan sa arizona
lulubelle3: and then he grew up with cayotes
lulubelle3: thus cannibalism
uneditedmara: or that "the new guy" dude
uneditedmara: uhg-gahlee
uneditedmara: pang-asar
uneditedmara: expression pa ng mukha niya eh
lulubelle3: oh yeah!
lulubelle3: mmmm...lunch
lulubelle3:

Iker Casillas

lulubelle3: diba dapat asa special olympics sya?

Iniesta

lulubelle3: parang di nya kayang tumakbo for 45 minutes eh
lulubelle3: sige, 15 minutes
uneditedmara: mey paka-mongoloid siya
lulubelle3: maging politcally-correct ka
lulubelle3: SPECIAL
uneditedmara: tapos napulot lang siya from an orphanage. they didnt even bother giving him a first name for fuck's sake
uneditedmara: INIESTA ka lang from now on
lulubelle3: kasi napulot sya ng hapon...siesta
uneditedmara: Hindi pa siya sinuklayan para sa picture taking
uneditedmara: kawawa talaga
uneditedmara: he must get picked on a lot
lulubelle3: friends sila ni dude who got raised by cayotes
uneditedmara: in italy, when you're beautiful, you're a god. when you're not, you're hella ugly.
uneditedmara: tsk. tsk.
uneditedmara: siguro nagkakaintindihan sila sa struggles with that cannibal dude
lulubelle3:

Marcell Jansen

uneditedmara: GAY!
lulubelle3: sya naman naiwan sa california desert
lulubelle3: dabah???
uneditedmara: carson kressly gay!
lulubelle3: I KNOW
lulubelle3:

Arne Friedrich

lulubelle3: pwede...
uneditedmara: Arrrr...
uneditedmara: I'd hit that
lulubelle3: ako din
lulubelle3:

Per Mertesacker

lulubelle3: kinda gay
uneditedmara: what is with all that hair?
lulubelle3: it's all whirly and stuff...it just took me back to the 50s
uneditedmara: and why is he orange..?
lulubelle3: too much carrot juice?
uneditedmara: tapos orange pa kalahati ng leeg niya
uneditedmara: weird.
lulubelle3:

Michael Ballack

lulubelle3: sayang.
uneditedmara: ah
uneditedmara: ballack.
lulubelle3: tsk. he should get a stylist
uneditedmara: he looks bad here but he has good lighting moments
uneditedmara: mga pics naman nila mukhang kakagising lang sa kanila tapos pinatayo sa banyo para mapicturan
uneditedmara: sheesh.
uneditedmara: wala man lang lighting.
uneditedmara: or styling.
lulubelle3: germans eh
uneditedmara: nazi fucks.
lulubelle3: alam mo namang walang love yang mga yan
lulubelle3: i bet they let their playes sleep on blocks of ice for training
uneditedmara: he looks like he was roughed up before taking the picture
uneditedmara: labooo.
lulubelle3: baka nadaanan nya yung gay team mates nya
lulubelle3: if you die, your family will pay for your training
uneditedmara: sabi ko nga eh
uneditedmara: thats why germans are good
uneditedmara: kasi if you dont perform perfectly, hindi bibigyan ng rasyon ang pamilya mo
lulubelle3: truly
lulubelle3: they get chased by a tank for days and days. that's the german way of training
lulubelle3: boiled roots lang
uneditedmara: anubaaaaaaaaaaah!!! =))
lulubelle3: or cabbage
lulubelle3: masagasaan sorry, tanga
uneditedmara: run, run for your life!!!
lulubelle3: thus they call football the game of life
uneditedmara: kasi for them, a matter of life and death talaga
lulubelle3: sayang din

Christoph Metzelder

uneditedmara: something
uneditedmara: is wrong with this dude
uneditedmara: i cant quite place it
uneditedmara: sayang nga
uneditedmara: mukha pa namang he wet his hair just to stand out from all the other mess
lulubelle3: GAY!

David Odonkor

lulubelle3: may fab five na sila sa team ah in fairness. he's the jai rodriguez
uneditedmara: BIG BLACK GAY GERMAN DUDE
uneditedmara: RUUUUUN!!!
uneditedmara: see the way his upper teeth meet his lower set?
uneditedmara: that's profiling.
lulubelle3: you think he knows the hoff?
uneditedmara: im sure he and the hoff run in the same circles
lulubelle3: may head tilt pa, don't forget
uneditedmara: and the SOOOOUUUUL patch
lulubelle3: well, at least am not a football player for a mean country!
uneditedmara: they ARE mean motherfuckers.
lulubelle3: he just got raped:

Oliver Neuville

lulubelle3: took 5 up his ass
uneditedmara: duuuude
uneditedmara: run a comb, wash your face..something!
uneditedmara: luging-lugi ang lukha
uneditedmara: *mukha
lulubelle3: i can't stop looking
uneditedmara: he had a rough day
uneditedmara: understatement eh
lulubelle3: mukhang pati si coach nakisali sa midnight rape in the barracks
uneditedmara: hindi talaga pintaulog eh
uneditedmara: *pinatulog
uneditedmara: duuuude, he looks like shite
lulubelle3: and then this dude got fed boiled cabbage
uneditedmara: "i was just a little school boy on the streets of borussia when these men came up to me and offered me the world cup."
uneditedmara: "now..i don't know myself.."
uneditedmara: *weeps in the corner*
lulubelle3: i'd give him a coin if i saw him on the street
lulubelle3: and maybe some bread and water
uneditedmara: cabbage!
lulubelle3: that'll make him weep
lulubelle3: AGAIN
uneditedmara: and maybe, if im gfeeling generous..potatoes :D
lulubelle3: will there be meat? or is that just for christmas?
uneditedmara: i swear. he has a sad lost look on his face.
lulubelle3: I KNOW
uneditedmara: i can just hear the violins playing, the snow falling outside and the voice over
lulubelle3: OLIVER pa pangalan nya
uneditedmara: NOOOO!!!!
uneditedmara: "please, sir, id like some more soup.."
uneditedmara: i cant look away.
uneditedmara: carcrash.
lulubelle3: no more soup for you until you sell a basket of matches
lulubelle3: oliver
lulubelle3: but sir *tiny cough*
lulubelle3: it's cold
lulubelle3: hindi ko na kayaaaaaaaaaaaa
lulubelle3: oliver pa kasi eh
uneditedmara: i can barely type
lulubelle3: oliver: rape victim/orphan/TB patient
lulubelle3: if he's jewish i'd go crazy
uneditedmara: 'tea would be oh so lovely, miss.'
lulubelle3: caption this: please sir, some more soup
lulubelle3: may puppy sya!
lulubelle3: scraggly-looking puppy
uneditedmara: that brings him scraps of food!
lulubelle3: of course
uneditedmara: tapos pareho silang amoy aso
lulubelle3: and they hate cabbage
uneditedmara: and when this picture was taken, nasa paanaan niya aso niya
lulubelle3: he can barely stand when they took this picture
lulubelle3: after running for days and eating just leaves, who could?
uneditedmara: one of his shoulders has dropped
lulubelle3: puta may polio?!
uneditedmara: i want to feed him and bathe him.
uneditedmara: like in a mother theresa sorta way
lulubelle3: napaka-tragic ng buhay ni oliver
uneditedmara: 'here my child. we are all entitled to be loved.'
lulubelle3: oh thank you madame! thank you! *tiny sniff*
lulubelle3: hindi ko kayaaaaaaaaaaaaa
uneditedmara: AYOKO NAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
lulubelle3: but i can't stop. his eyes...they speak to me
uneditedmara: they cry out for love and some day-old bread.
uneditedmara: and perhaps
lulubelle3: and perhaps meat?
uneditedmara: a match or two to light his cold winter nights
lulubelle3: scraps of meat i'm sorry
uneditedmara: yan yung pangalan ng aso niya
uneditedmara: scraps
lulubelle3: The small, but quick forward makes up for his lack of goalscoring prowess with his excellent tactical insight.
His tremendous work ethic has won the hearts of fans at Bundesliga clubs Hansa Rostock, Bayer Leverkusen and now Borussia Moenchengladbach.
lulubelle3: orphan na orphan ang dating
uneditedmara: eh wala eh. kelangan tlaga tumakbo para makakain at makatulog ng ilang oras sa gabi
lulubelle3: may option sa pinakababa: add this player to my fantasy roster
uneditedmara: i mean, just before the midnight rape raid
lulubelle3: them evil evil germans
uneditedmara: tangena. sponsor ang gillette, hindi man lang makadonate ng disposable razor?
uneditedmara: naman..
lulubelle3: had too much bud methinks...thus the midnight bedroom assault
uneditedmara: bud pala ang pinakagenerous na sponsor
uneditedmara: no wonder bangag silang lahat tignan
uneditedmara: bud's probably having a ball blasting these pictures
lulubelle3: got them germans drunk
lulubelle3: yun nga lang lugi si oliver
uneditedmara: oliver naman kasi eh
uneditedmara: nakatulog
uneditedmara: ayan
uneditedmara: biktima ka tlaga
uneditedmara: duuude
lulubelle3: maganda dyan when he woke up nawawala na si scraps
uneditedmara: everything i say to him, he replies with those sad eyes!
uneditedmara: panalo siya, everytime!
lulubelle3: I KNOW
uneditedmara: i cant argue with him!
uneditedmara: there's just no arguing with oliver.
lulubelle3: i'd give him a hug and some coins even
lulubelle3: "hold on oliver, hold on."
uneditedmara: for a better life *drops coins in tin can*
uneditedmara: tapos after he sees the coins drop and i walk away
uneditedmara: he bursts into song
uneditedmara: in his raggedy uniform
lulubelle3: and scraps will chase after you and tug at your pants and lick your feet in gratitude
uneditedmara: backdrop niya yung training field ng germans
uneditedmara: and then behind him, you see german players getting chased by tanks
lulubelle3: sya yung fundraiser for their uniform and travel expenses
uneditedmara: but his song is triumphant
lulubelle3: please sir...
uneditedmara: for uniforms and cabbage
lulubelle3: i do not give money to orphans! *slap spit!*
lulubelle3: cabbage
uneditedmara: tapos when he comes back to the training camp with a few coins, the guys start to hit him
uneditedmara: kasi paplpak siya
uneditedmara: please..
lulubelle3: potah potah
uneditedmara: *whimper*
lulubelle3: these are all i've got. i'll do better next time
lulubelle3: no blanket for you tonight oliver
uneditedmara: hindi!
uneditedmara: no cot for you tonight, oliver
lulubelle3: but they sleep on ice
uneditedmara: anuuuuubaaaaaaaaaaah!!!
uneditedmara: i cant
lulubelle3: alam ko na alam ko na
uneditedmara: breathe
lulubelle3: no cleats for you tomorrow
uneditedmara: potah
uneditedmara: intense
uneditedmara: kaya pala ang bilis niyang tumakbo
lulubelle3: that's the way it's gotta be
lulubelle3: potah nakapaa nakikipaglaban
uneditedmara: damn that picture.
lulubelle3: and scraps is just barking for mercy for his master
uneditedmara: tapos sisipa-sipain si scraps ng teammates niya
lulubelle3: eh sa team nila 5 lang pwedeng magsuot ng cleats
uneditedmara: salit sa cleats
lulubelle3: wala pang medyas ha?
lulubelle3: or kung meron man it's really raggedy and loose
uneditedmara: tapos kelangan butas-butas
lulubelle3: nakatali for it to stay up their leg
uneditedmara: bacon na
lulubelle3: potah kawawa german team sa tin
lulubelle3: dahil kay oliver
uneditedmara: kasi naman eh
uneditedmara: oliver just wanted to live the theatre life
uneditedmara: napilitan lang talaga siya
uneditedmara: magfootball
uneditedmara: para makakain
lulubelle3: poor oliver.
lulubelle3: soebody shoukd care for him
uneditedmara: poor oliver *sabay tingin sa picture niya*
lulubelle3: naman!
lulubelle3: may shake pa ng head
uneditedmara: napa-iling
lulubelle3: the eyes! the eyes!
lulubelle3: and the tuft of hair
uneditedmara: his picture is telling me: can't you understand?
lulubelle3: sa kin: please...
lulubelle3: some warm bread
uneditedmara: cant. beathe.
lulubelle3: i can't look away.
uneditedmara: oliveeeer...
uneditedmara: tapos yung comments ng mga babushka: poor young lad..
lulubelle3: i can imagine fat evil butchers driving him and scraps away
lulubelle3: and oliver clutching a thread-bare blanket
lulubelle3: that used to be a flag of a small country germany has invaded
uneditedmara: tapos may blood stains pa from the battle
uneditedmara: tapos he and scraps huddle in an alley
uneditedmara: ang galing talaga ng picture niya. it speaks to me.
lulubelle3: hindi ako makaihi
lulubelle3: or magandang caption sa picture: loking for love
lulubelle3: *looking
uneditedmara: male order oliver
lulubelle3: and a wamr home
lulubelle3: male order =))
lulubelle3: will do anything for food
lulubelle3: (as long as it's not cabbage)
uneditedmara: tapos bibilhin siya ng abusive american woman
lulubelle3: from the south
uneditedmara: who has nothing to do but shop online
uneditedmara: mukha daw bargain si oliver
lulubelle3: some texan woman
lulubelle3: who'd make him work on the ranch
uneditedmara: and he'd have to sleep in the barn
lulubelle3: branding cows, chasing after them of course
uneditedmara: tapos at first takot siya sa tractors
uneditedmara: tapos ngayon hindi na
lulubelle3: tractors, ha! i spit in the face of american-made machinery. in my country...
lulubelle3: noooooo!
lulubelle3: i saw his eyes
uneditedmara: you can't avert yourself from the eye
lulubelle3: in fairness magandang movie yung naisip nating storya
uneditedmara: uh-huh!
uneditedmara: UH-HUH!
uneditedmara: i'm sure he'll want to star in it :D
uneditedmara: para mas believable :D
lulubelle3: but what if years of sleeping on ice made his face expressionless
lulubelle3: well, except for THAT beseeching expression
uneditedmara: his eyes will say it all
lulubelle3: pati kunot ng noo
lulubelle3: i have to look for a happy picture of oliver
lulubelle3: I MUST
uneditedmara: if nothing, to redeem himself na lang
lulubelle3: choooooooooongs
lulubelle3:

lulubelle3: yan
uneditedmara: TAMA ANG HINALA NATIN!
uneditedmara: can you see the trucks in the fields?
uneditedmara: it's the eyes talaga pare
uneditedmara: may malaki pang aspirin sa dibdib niya

lulubelle3:

lulubelle3: yun nga
lulubelle3: APSPIRIN
lulubelle3: oliver in pain

uneditedmara: wawa naman

uneditedmara: japanese dude: dude, i feel for you
uneditedmara: in my country..
lulubelle3:

lulubelle3: tigan mo yan
uneditedmara: is he the one at the bottom?
lulubelle3: yeah the one clapping
lulubelle3: parang "yeah...yeah...wahoo."
uneditedmara: caption: oliver peed in the cup! haha!
uneditedmara: oliver: i'll slap your behind like the ass that you are.
uneditedmara: like this *clap*
lulubelle3:

uneditedmara: caption: mother! father! a scrap of meat for supper!
lulubelle3: NAZI SADISTS!
lulubelle3: this one's for you

uneditedmara: in fairness
uneditedmara: he looks pulled together
uneditedmara: he must've had a good week
lulubelle3: must've gotten a lot of coins
uneditedmara: oliver: kiss this you nazi fucks!
lulubelle3: what?!? what do you mean there's no meat in the soup?!

uneditedmara: or
uneditedmara: scraps, im home!!!
uneditedmara: see?!
uneditedmara: its the face that he makes!!!
uneditedmara: we're not just crazy!
uneditedmara: he REALLY GENUINELY looks like that ALL THE TIME!
lulubelle3: yeah...maybe they were a lot of fabricated stories of struggle made from those eyes of his
uneditedmara: all the more to make him poster boy
uneditedmara: germany could win with the referees sympathy
uneditedmara: ala puss in boots sa shrek2
lulubelle3: oh my god.
uneditedmara: tumatakbo siya with the ball, tapos when he's in front of the red
uneditedmara: *ref
uneditedmara: biglang he stops and they look into each other's eyes
uneditedmara: GOOOOOAL FOR GERMANY!
lulubelle3: he kinda looks hot

lulubelle3: moment?
uneditedmara: moment..
lulubelle3: what german camps to do one's appearance...
lulubelle3: tsk tsk

before and after
uneditedmara: must. post. in. blog

"Hold on Oliver, hold on."

"Today, I took a walk.."

2006-06-28T19:58:00.000+08:00

I didn't feel like getting out of bed today. Hell, I didn't feel like sleeping in as well. I just wanted to lie in my bed and stare at the unpainted ceiling, the wonky, blinds, or random stuff scattered throughout my room. I just wanted a visual feast. Nothing more. I kept wondering what brought this on. Nothing comes to mind. I rack my brain for 30minutes more. Nada.

And then I turned to face the wall. It hit me. It was because I was up watching Spider-man 2. I remember that even when it just came out, I was so affected by one scene. It neither involved Peter Parker's profession of undying love to Mary Jane nor his confession of guilt for the death of Uncle Ben. It was when Spider-man tried to save this runaway train from falling at the end of the tracks.

Spidey was unmasked at this point and desperately trying to stop a hurtling train only to be met by skeptic passengers. And when he finally managed to bring it to a halt, he passed out. But he didn't fall. The passengers held on to him and brought him in the train. That freeze-frame moment when the Spidey logo was surrounded by civilians' hands choked me up.

That moment was the life that I wanted to have. The choice to become Spider-man, to sacrifice his life and his dreams, was Peter Parker's and his alone. He knows that only he has the power to undo evil and stop them from harming the innocent. But he is nothing without the support that the people give him. They have to believe that good WILL truimph over evil and that justice will prevail. Without their faith, Spider-man cannot know who he is nor be steadfast in his decision. All they had to do to be saved was to believe.

"Lord knows, kids like Henry need a hero. Courageous, self-sacrificing people. Setting examples for all of us. Everybody loves a hero. People line up for them, cheer them, scream their names. And years later, they'll tell how they stood in the rain for hours just to get a glimpse of the one who taught them how to hold on a second longer. I believe there's a hero in all of us, that keeps us honest, gives us strength, makes us noble, and finally allows us to die with pride, even though sometimes we have to be steady, and give up the thing we want the most. Even our dreams."

"Isn't it about time somebody saved your life?"

"'Kind of makes you mad not to know who you are? Your soul disappears, nothing is bad as uncertainty. Listen, maybe you're not supposed to be Spider-Man climbing those walls? That's why you keep falling. You'll always have a choice Peter."

"I can't live your dreams anymore. I want a life of my own."

"Sometimes, to do what's right, we have to be steady and give up the thing we want the most. Even our dreams."

Please pass the tissues.

WHAT'S THE STORY, MORNING GLORY?

2006-06-26T16:02:00.000+08:00

01. Of your name?
Ma (my mom: MArgie) + ra (my dad: RAfael) + April (month of birth).Yeah, yeah. Cheesy, I know. But at least they thought about it.

02. Of your parents?
My dad was a teacher's assistant or something in Ateneo de Cagayan and my mom was a student. College romance. he knocked her up and the rest is history.

03. Of your last birthday?
I found out I was pregnant that week. So you can just imagine the joy of celebrating my unexpected birthday gift. (It's called sarcasm.)

04. Of your first love?
It was a highschool kind of thing. You know. The usual, friends that had nothing better to do.

05. Of your room?
That will always be a mess. Unless my dad or mom pops in for a surprise visit and then all the crap gets shoved underneath the bed. But on regular days, it just reflects dusty, messy, 'ol me.

06. Of last Christmas?
I was with my dad and sister and the other family. I was sick most of it. Christmas always sucks. And the fact that he and I had a fight was a major pain in the holiday neck. Papiliin ka naman between your family and his?! Ampooo...

07. Of last Valentines day?
It was a decision to VOLUNTARILY NOT celebrate it.

08. Of your current clothes?
NOTHING effin' fits. I've got to wear PJs to every event I go to. Whether to bed or to the office.

09. Of the first time you saw your crush?
We were in elementary. I don't remember much. Just that his name was Neil and he was terrible in English.

10. Of you and your best friend/s?
Marion. We were at Sunday School together. The kids always made up stories about me just because I used to have a guy bestfriend. She was quiet. I wasn't. And then she got hooked to me because I turned out to be the life of the party. WOOHOO!

11. Of the last place you went to?
The office bathroom doesn't have toilet paper. Where the hell are my taxes going then?!

12. Of the last time you cried.
Last night. In the cab. On the way home. And then I got hit on by my cabbie. Men are such pigs.

13. The last movie you watched?
Omen. I just hope that the movie isn't a foreshadowing of my offspring. But then it'd be cool to go around saying that I was really carrying the Prince of Darkness in my womb.

14. Of your greatest achievement so far?
I can't think of something really great right now.

15. TAG: You, you, and you! (Taning too! hehe!)

Which SUPERHERO are you?

2006-06-23T18:08:00.000+08:00

Your results:
You are Supergirl

Supergirl		95%
Hulk		90%
Wonder Woman		85%
The Flash		85%
Catwoman		85%
Green Lantern		75%
Iron Man		75%
Spider-Man		65%
Superman		55%
Robin		55%
Batman		45%

I love the fact that I get to be the HULK as my second choice. *teehee!*

Lean, muscular and feminine.
Honest and a defender of the innocent.

Stand and Deliver

2006-06-22T21:57:00.000+08:00

Come on, people. We all know who the SHINING STAR of this year's World Cup England Squad is. He's so amazing that I just might go ahead and stencil Superman's S onto his chest.

No, it's not Wayne Rooney.
A month before Germany, the English nation mourned for Rooney's leg. The boy does have some skills in him but we might as well rule him out playing a decent match. He's been back a while and I've seen nothing of it. I only see fear in his pitch form.

No, it's not David Beckham.
Football idiots only know Captain Becks because he is THE definition of metrosexual. But he's done shite for the squad. Oh, puh-lease. His penalty didn't even make it in. It was an own goal for fuck's sake. Let's just leave him on the pitch for eye candy.

No, it's not Frank Lampard.
There us just too much hype and hope on that Lampard fella. He shoots at every match but NADA. He is not as amazing as his publicist would like us to think. The position is just wasted on a fat fuck.

No it's not Michael Owen.
It's 100% DEFINITELY not the Golden Boy. I have less animosity towards him just because he used to play for Liverpool though. But 2 minutes into the match and he's injured, AGAIN. I know that players are plagued with these injuries but hell, this is the WORLD CUP we are talking about. I believe that Owen is a crucial man on the pitch. But seeing as he will NEVER play in Germany again, we might as well kiss that golden trophy buh-bye for another 4years.

Which leaves us with the REAL MAN of the squad.
Scoring in almost every World Cup match and showing to the rest of the world, he deserves Lampard's position. Give it to him, Sven! The boy has earned it more than any of your wankers out there!

SUPER STEVIE TO THE RESCUE!
*cue Superman music*

They should rename it "PIG-nancy"

2006-06-22T21:39:00.000+08:00

I just gobbled down a cheeseburger, large fries, chicken nuggets, extra rice, and washed it all down with 2 large Cokes. Guess who's dealing with problems.

Wah.

This week just isn't going very well for me. I just want to stay in bed and cry all day long. Yeah, nothing will be borne from it but at least I get a little sanity back. I was SO WRONG when I thought that all I had to worry about was the baby and what I ate and what activities I did. WRONG! Reality check: Just because you're pregnant, it doesn't give you a free pass for 9 months. You get hit by the shit just like everyone else.

Wah.

I should start pulling my act together. I can't deal with this hormone crap. I can't think straight. Ever. And when I do start thinking about important matters, I just start welling up and crying. I think I should donate to the Cab Drivers' Fund because I've caused them enough trauma when riding in them. One minute I'm all normal and the next I want to start conversations with them about family life and the struggles that they've been through. They don't get paid enough for that shit. There should be an emotional meter running as well.

Wah.

I don't know where else to pull my strength from. I'm losing hope. I'm losing faith. But damn do I still have the appetite.

VROOOM!

2006-06-21T21:42:00.000+08:00

Nothing beats the sound of a revved up engine. It's simply orgasmic. Even better is knowing that more than a hundred horsepower is under your very control. It's all very sexy really. If you aren't one to be wooed by tire squeals and a tight gear box, I don't think I'd want to be friends with you.

CARS

Those briliant people over at Pixar have scored gold with this movie yet again. Albeit that this was a NASCAR-based story, which, in my opinion, is the most idiotic sport that you can suffer your car though, it was a movie to watch with the whole family. All the automobile characters were..real characters! I just sat back and let the movie wash over me. Because let's face it, it was THAT kind of movie. Getting into the philosophical underpinnings of living the "country" life vs the "race track" life is unnecessary. What you DO get in the end is a very satisfying watch, full of laughs, and (if you can even believe it) a few tears in the end.

FAST AND THE FURIOUS: TOKYO DRIFT

This is THE car movie to watch this season! WOOT! WOOT! I start off by saying that I have no biases over cars, actors, and locations. I love everything that revvs and all things villain-ous. As with the other installments, do not hope for a deeper plot or thicker character development. Enjoy the eye-candy and rock the house with intense stunt driving!

I give this movie two very enthusiastic thumbs up, a stadium wave, and ghetto 'tude for the overall feel of it. It made me miss my driving days. I mean, not that I raced or anything. Can I just say that compared to the previous ones, the driving style introduced in this movie isn't as moronic. Any driver can shift at the red line and floor the gas, but it takes SKILLZ to drift. I've got great respect for people that gas and break with sheer guts on hairpins AND downhill. My heart is pounding as we speak, just remembering the visual feats.

*whew*

I'm back. Where was I? Oh yeah, I was just about to diss drag racing. Granted that drag racing is a pretty cool event in itself, but a monkey could drive the most expensive and well-equipped car and win without needing a banana break. Drifting is seriously more than knowing where your gas pedal and NOS button are.

Next is the lifestyle that Tokoyo portrayed. Ghetto peeps and pimps have NOTHING on the race the INVENTED rebel clothing. This is where it all began, biiitches. And the Japanese rocked the screen!

AND THE CARS! Don't even get me started. One of my first loves, the Z, was born and blazin' in this movie. But as far as car manufacturing and handling goes, Asia is the shiznit. Customize everything and everything to suit your personal style. It was just smokin' hot!!!

READY? SET. GO!

Song post

2006-06-15T17:57:00.000+08:00

I wish I turn out to be half the mother my mom is.
It's all so scary because I'm not one to fail at any endeavor.
I wish there was a manual or handbook or something.
I feel like I'm at the end of my emotional rope.
And there are jagged rocks below.
*reveals picket sign: help.*

Don't Forget To Remember Me
by Carrie Underwood

18 years have come and gone
For momma they flew by
But for me they just drug on
We were loading up that Chevy
Both tryin' not to cry
Momma kept on talking
Putting off good-bye
Then she took my hand and said
Baby don't forget

Before you hit the highway
You better stop for gas
There's a 50 in ashtray
In case you run short on cash
Here's a map and here's a Bible
If you ever loose your way

Just one more thing before you leave
Don't forget to remember me

This downtown apartment sure makes me miss home
And those bills there on the counter
Remind me I'm on my own
And just like every Sunday I called momma up last night
And even when it's not, I tell her everything's alright
Before we hung up I said
Hey momma, don't forget to tell my baby sister I'll see her in the fall
And tell mee-mal that I miss her
Yeah, I should give her a call
And make sure you tell Daddy that I'm still his little girl
Yeah I still feel like I'm where I'm supposed to be
Don't forget to remember me

Tonight I find myself kneeling by the bed to pray
I haven't done this in a while
So I don't know what to say but
Lord I feel so small some times in this big ol' place
I know there are more important things, but
Don't forget to remember me
Don't forget to remember me

[very unhealthy] Current Obssesssions

2006-06-14T17:51:00.000+08:00

[Bam Margera] and [Mike Vallely]

Sk8er bois! How could you not love these idiots?

White boys without jobs but with a lot of time and money on their hands.

I want to be your friend!!!

[Jesse Spencer/ Dr.Chase of House]

Australian accent and a white lab coat. I'm ready to open my mouth and say ''AHHH!"

[Kimi Raikkonen/ F1 Driver for Maclaren-Mercedes]

He NEVER shows his emotions. THE Iceman from Finland.

I heart Kimi. And Raikkonen is in my baby name list.

[Hugh Laurie/ House of House]

Who wouldn't love a vicodin-poppin', sarcasm-prescribin' doctor?

*sigh*

WORLD CUP FEVER!!!

2006-06-09T18:42:00.000+08:00

It's official.
It's finally here.
And my insanity is rising to a feverish pitch!!!

2006-06-07T19:02:00.000+08:00

MISSION IMPOSSIBLE III

I was half-expecting Tom Cruise to jump up and down on a couch going
mad, but not once did Ethan Hunt reveal the insanity behind this actor's
mind. It was back to the old, formula but there's a reason why those
things skyrocket aging stars into glistening stars one more time.
Personally, I was more excited that Jonathan Rhys-Meyer was there.
Okay, to be brief, it was popcorn action movie. There will be nothing
left to discuss after the credits roll but perfectly choreographed fight
scenes and shit that got blown up. But I did have a heart attack with the
last frame of the movie though. What was up with that hand-in-hand,
happy ending shit? I mean, as if it wasn't bad enough that you aren'y
fully privvy to what the hell they're talking about, and then suddenly they
make a fairytale ending of it all? Bullshit. But other than that, rent the
DVD.

ICE AGE 2

I'm a sucker for cartoons. And when two of my favorite comedians, Ray
Romano and Dennis Leary team up again, this wasn't something I was
gonna miss. Good, clean family fun. You learn all sort of things along
the way. You might even pee a bucket or two because of the delusional
Ellie and her possum brothers. This was far better than the first one
just because the characters had time to be fully drawn out. And it did
break my heart to find out that Manny WASN'T the last of his kind. A
victorious ending that leaves you light-hearted.

SILENT HILL
Whoever was the director of photography did and excellent job!
Although I've never played the game, the whole setting was very
arresting. And the monsters weren't bad either. I especially loved the
dyke cop. *teehee!* A lot of girl power in this movie. And yeah, did you
notice the leader of the 'church'? She was the woman in Stephen King's
Sleepwalkers a couple of years back. No wonder I saw such elegance and
motherly instinct within her. And I just would like to comment on the
zombie nurses. I've never seen a staff that 'well-equipped' and dead
before. Fruck out a bit but it was all cool. Surrealistically sub-zero to
watch.

X-MEN THE LAST STAND

Before all you freaks out there try and analyze the whole thing, let me
just say my piece and I can run back into hiding again. X-Men was fun
again. Sure, the last one was cool, but this didn't exactly suck like
everybody said it did. Granted that there were a lot of characters and
mutants that were never fully exploited in the movie *cough* Psylock
*cough* it was a FUN movie to watch. I was EXTRA excited to see
Juggernaut. *teehee*

I just wish people would stop putting their own interpretations and
ending, especially when a comic book is made into a movie. Personally, I
give leeways for the directors and what-nots because they can't exactly
challenge 40-years of writing or present the entire 500-page novel they
ripped the movie from. This applies to X-Men III. I take this movie as an
alternate story to the X-Men saga. Hell, not even the comic book geeks
can keep track of what really happens with these mutants. I mean,
writers already wrote alternate universes and here we are debating on
the third installment of this movie.

Let's just give the Hollywood people a break. They might not be the
brightest in the bunch but come summer, always expect blockbusters
that are NEVER up for philosophical discussion. Why don't you just sit
your ass back down and take a chill pill. No sense in getting upset over a
2-hour movie that cost you 140 a pop. Although there were a lot of
what-the-fuck moments like Phoenix not ever being on fire, Rogue
suddenly disappearing, Cyclops suddenly leaving, there were merits as
well. Watch the movie. Go ahead, you can even charge the popcprn on
me.

THE DA VINCI CODE

Now THIS, was what I've been waiting for. And there are 3 reasons why:
to see the locations and art works that were promised in the book, to
see Silas *teehee*, and to put to end the debate whether or not Tom
Hanks' haircut is offensive.

I was FULLY satisfied with where they took me. I finally got to see the
Louvre in Paris, Scotland, Rome, and all the other places I could only
dream of going to. In that aspect, I was happy.

Don't even get me started on Silas. Just don't. I gush over a 10-minute
interview and a three-hour movie just sent me over the moon. But I will
comment and I'll make it a quick one too. In short, HE WAS AMAZING.
He is a well-rounded *snicker* actor and his Silas proved that to me.
What was disconcerting is that he retained his baby blues. They left out
the pigment-less eyes. He looked more Finnish than albino.

And as for the haircut, it wasn't as bad as when it's out and about doing
press junkets for Tom Hanks. I just wish he'd cut that thing off before it
needs to pay half of the rent.

Now to the movie..LOVED IT. And as my movie buddy commented, I
think we liked more than the usual because we read the book to begin
with. There might have been holes in the movie but we didn't see it
because our brains just filled it in. So, I don't think I'm the most
objective person to evaluate this movie.

Just let me to my Silas and my art.

Same shit, Different day

2006-06-05T21:42:00.000+08:00

Massive migraine.
STILL without ANY form of pain medication.
Why wait 'till childbirth when you can just kill me right now?

ARGH.

There's been a little extra heaping of bitch around the house this week. Frankly, I'm too chicken to deal with it so I cop out. Isn't too hard. A headache here and a backpain there and no one thinks to bother me with anymore questions. But really, it's just coming back to bite me in the ass.

ARGH.

I've still got 5 more months to go until the other show starts. We'll see in 20 weeks how much I learned in the Girl Scouts. I'm pissed off at myself.

ARGH.

Do I not seem happy? I should be glowing but all I'm doing is creating more wrinkles and depressing myself. Frankly, I'd like to keep that happiness to myself until there's SOMETHING that tells me that there is at least one paddle on the boat. And no, I'm not talking about some teeny-weeny, fashioned-out-of-coconut-parts kinda paddle. I'm talking about a substantial oar. Got those for me?

ARGH.

All this time I thought vanity and gluttony were my favorite sins. Turns out it's neither. Guess which one it is. PRIDE. The word just throbs while I'm staring at it. It's practically mocking me. In 5 letters, it just perfectly spells out the disease eating inside of me.

ARGH.

I don't want to worry or obssess over it but I am. Needless, I know, but obssession isn't exactly logic's bedfellow. I tell you, it's driving me crazy. Sometimes I get myself more late for office because I just stand in the shower for half an hour, staring into the tiles. I have no idea what I'm hoping to achieve. Divine intervention between the grout? A sign from the Lord in shampoo bubbles?

ARGH.

Maybe we should just start with the headaches and the rest just might go away.

Ripple Effect

2006-06-02T20:32:00.000+08:00

Apparently, I haven't carefully thought this whole blogging thing through. Sure it started out to be a fun little online journal to document the insanity that I am constantly surrounded by but it's turned into something a little bit more viscious than that.

Maybe the fault was in keeping my identity. I mean, with superheroes, revelation of their identity almost always leads to disaster. Your arch nemesis might come after you or even regular law-abiding citizens could easily manipulate you.

Don't get me wrong. I still love bitching about my life, the world, and the idiots that occupy it in general but when it comes down to personal stuff, I am still hiding out in my own silent world. Sure, I've tried to open up about my personal life in this blog but it turns out that there are people I know that read this shit. And it's not like they're just random people that I don't mind thinking of me as an insensitive bitch or a diva. No, these are people whose opinion I rather value. Does this mean that I have to start censoring myself? I obviously express my opinions rather strongly in this blog and damned be all that oppose it.

This was supposed to be brutal and honest. This was supposed to be an avenue where I let all the word vomit out, uncensored, UNEDITED. And then maybe later on, see what the real problem was. I don't really think all these things. They're instinctual. My fingers just sorta fly over the keys and I lose control. Things just come out and I AM ashamed of thinking most of them. But they're there and I can't NOT write them down, you know?

PURGING.That's what I do here. All the crap that people think but never say. I don't go around telling people that they should go fuck themselves but I've written a nice entry down somewhere where I do and that satiates me. And beyond anything comprehensible, it makes me think twice on where I stand on certain matters. When I write in my blog, I know what the "Phoenix" in me is feeling. But after publishing it and shutting down the computer, my mind lingers to those matters and I start sorting things out. And just before I close my eyes, before drifting off to sleep, I think to myself that my initial statement in the blogging world, would not be my final word in the real one.

Song post

2006-06-01T22:11:00.000+08:00

I was working late and I heard this over the YM Radio.
Serves me right for leaving it on the Love Songs station.
I am such an idiot.

*****

Right Here Waiting For You
Richard Marx

Oceans apart day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain
If I see you next to never
How can we say forever

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I took for granted, all the times
That I thought would last somehow
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now
Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me going crazy

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I wonder how we can survive
This romance
But in the end if I'm with you
I'll take the chance

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you
Waiting for you

*****

It's just sad that this guy's just waiting.
And waiting.
And waiting.
In the same place (emotionally) for someone who isn't.
Such a tragedy.
Whoever it is, she's a bitch.
Breaks your heart doesn't it?

I don't have the energy for this.

2006-05-31T21:31:00.000+08:00

In five minutes flat, I wrote a seething entry on how much I detest inconsiderate people who waste my time with issues that I could care less. And I accidentally deleted it. Yes. I couldn't blame it on blogger or anyone else. It was me. And so I mentally slapped myself across the face and fumed about it.

I really liked that entry. I mean, it was spontaneous and not-so-carefully thought out. Which means that if I want to reconstruct what I had previously wrote, I would have to think it over. And God knows how I hate to think my feelings over. I mean, the first post had a DEFINITE tone and quality, just pure and utter anger. But now, I gotta give logic a shot at it. And we all know that that is just a bunch of shit and I'll just end up with a distilled and antiseptic version of what I originally wrote.

Exasperation.

In any case, my point was, I don't come into your office IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WORKDAY and start a meaningful conversation. Really, I wouldn't want to inconvenience anyone with my feelings. Especially if they're the kind that could wait until the weekend or at least a drinking spree. You know, you've just settled into your desk and you're sitting just right in your chair, you've answered all your inane emails and read through your gossip rags, and you've just cracked your knuckles and have at your latest service deadline. You're engrossed, is what you are. And then suddenly someone rings you up and wants to talk about their feelings?! FOR FUCK'S SAKE. Show some respect people.

Yes, I have been guilty of dropping an emotional bomb during someone else's office hours once or twice, but after that incident and swearing on my life that I would never do that again, I never did call. And even if I did, I made sure that I kept my conversation to a 3-minute minumum. There was no need to waste someone else's time when they obviously don't have the time for you. But I'm cool with that. I understand that when you're at the office, you need your space.

BUT FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD! If I show you that kind of respect, aren't I entitled to AT LEAST the same courtesy?! Which leads me to thinking that this might not really be about courtesy. Maybe this is something bigger than that. I've CONSTATNLY asked never to be bothered while I'm in the middle of something. But it doesn't seem to come off as my work being important to me. It is STILL work you know. And I bust my ass everyday, the same as you, so as not to miss a deadline. Sure, it's no rocket science and I'm not exactly finding the cure for AIDS but GODDAMMIT I want a little consideration!

And I don't want to chalk this up as another stressful day for a pregnant, hormone-ridden woman, but this is just common sense. Let's just have a respect for each other. Is that really too much to ask? I mean, I am not the most stable peson right now. And I'm under tremendous stress to make the right decision which will obviously affect everyone in my sphere. Can we just acknowledge that for a second? Understand that no one else is making this call FOR EVERYONE except me. And to know that I can't please anyone is driving me a little more nuts than usual. I mean, added to the fact that I have to decide what I want to do with EVERYONE'S LIFE, I think a little time for me and my work is a welcome break during the week.

Maybe if I explained it like I would to little pre-schoolers. I need time to work. I need time to make money. Mommy's got to keep her job, you know. Mommy can't afford to listen to every boo-boo that you've had. Maybe after this, I'll take you to get some ice cream and make it all better. But for now, can you just run along and play until I'm done?

I do have deadlines, the same as everyone else. Could we just please hold the traumas and the emotional emergencies until after I've finished with my day's work? I don't want to come off as the big bitch because I DO listen to people's problems, try to help them come up with a logical solution, and offer comfort when needed, but if I wanted to do that all day long, I would've become a therapist.

I love you all and I would give anything up to be there for you. After I've punched out of the office I am all yours for opinion, a helpful hand, a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, for advice, for sarcastic comments, jokes and impersonations. Practically anything that would help YOU in your time of need. Disturb me any time before that and there will be bloodshed. Kapish?

WHO'S YOUR DADDY?

2006-05-30T13:33:00.000+08:00

Squad Number: 8
Position: Midfield
Place of Birth: Whiston, England
Date Of Birth: 30/ 05/ 1980
Height: 6'1
Weight: 12st 6lbs

*****

STEVEN GEORGE GERRARD

*****

HAPPY BIRRRFFFDAAAAY STEVIE!!!

2006-05-30T13:23:00.000+08:00

A tribute to the man they call "The Perfect Midfielder"

*****

HERE is marathon man Stevie G’s amazing 59-game record for 2005-06

— and the World Cup is still to come.

JULY 2005
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Liverpool 3 TNS 0, played 90 minutes, scored three goals.
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: TNS 0 Liverpool 3, 67th-min sub, scored two.
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: FBK Kaunas 1 Liverpool 3, played 60 mins, scored one.

AUGUST 2005
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Liverpool 2 FBK Kaunas 0, 75th-min sub, scored one.
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: CSKA Sofia 1 Liverpool 3, played 70 mins.
PREMIERSHIP: Middlesbrough 0 Liverpool 0, played 90 mins.
INTERNATIONAL: Denmark 4 England 1, played 84 mins.
PREMIERSHIP: Liverpool 1 Sunderland 0, played 55 mins, booked.

SEPTEMBER 2005
WORLD CUP QUALIFIER: Wales 0 England 1, played 84 mins.
WC QUALIFIER: Northern Ireland 1 England 0, played 75 mins.
PREMIERSHIP: Tottenham 0 Liverpool 0, played 90 mins.
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Real Betis 1 Liverpool 2, 74th-min sub.
PREMIERSHIP: Liverpool 0 Man United 0, played 90 mins.
PREMIERSHIP: Birmingham 2 Liverpool 2, played 90 mins.
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Liverpool 0 Chelsea 0, played 90 mins.

OCTOBER 2005
PREMIERSHIP: Liverpool 1 Chelsea 4, played 90 mins, scored one.
WC QUALIFIER: England 1 Austria 0, played 90 mins.
CARLING CUP: Crystal Palace 2 Liverpool 1, played 90 mins, scored one.
PREMIERSHIP: Liverpool 2 West Ham 0, played 90 mins.
NOVEMBER 2005
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Liverpool 3 Anderlecht 0, played 78 mins.
PREMIERSHIP: Aston Villa 0 Liverpool 2, played 90 mins, scored one.
INTERNATIONAL: Argentina 2 England 3, played 90 mins.
PREMIERSHIP: Liverpool 3 Portsmouth 0, played 83 mins.
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Liverpool 0 Real Betis 0, played 89 mins.
PREMIERSHIP: Manchester City 0 Liverpool 1, played 90 mins.
PREMIERSHIP: Sunderland 0 Liverpool 2, played 90 mins, scored one.

DECEMBER 2005
PREMIERSHIP: Liverpool 3 Wigan 0, played 90 mins.
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Chelsea 0 Liverpool 0, played 90 mins.
PREMIERSHIP: Liverpool 2 Middlesbrough 0, played 90 mins.
WORLD CLUB CHAMPIONSHIP: Liverpool 3 Deportivo Saprissa 0, played 64 mins, scored one.
WORLD CLUB CHAMPIONSHIP: Sao Paulo 1 Liverpool 0, played 90 mins.
PREMIERSHIP: Liverpool 2 Newcastle 0, played 90 mins, scored one.
PREMIERSHIP: Everton 1 Liverpool 3, played 85 mins, scored one.
PREMIERSHIP: Liverpool 1 West Brom 0, played 90 mins.

JANUARY 2006
PREMIERSHIP: Bolton 2 Liverpool 2, played 90 mins, scored one.
FA CUP: Luton 3 Liverpool 5, played 90 mins, scored one.
PREMIERSHIP: Liverpool 1 Tottenham 0, played 90 mins.
PREMIERSHIP: Manchester United 1 Liverpool 0, played 90 mins, booked.
FA CUP: Portsmouth 1 Liverpool 2, played 80 mins, scored one.
POT THE LOT ... he lifts FA Cup after 59th game

FEBRUARY 2006
PREMIERSHIP: Liverpool 1 Birmingham 1, played 72 mins, scored one.
PREMIERSHIP: Chelsea 2 Liverpool 0, played 90 mins.
PREMIERSHIP: Wigan 0 Liverpool 1, played 90 mins.
PREMIERSHIP: Liverpool 1 Arsenal 0, played 90 mins.
FA CUP: Liverpool 1 Manchester United 0, played 90 mins.
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Benfica 1 Liverpool 0, 78th-min sub.
PREMIERSHIP: Liverpool 1 Man City 0, played 90 mins.

MARCH 2006
INTERNATIONAL: England 2 Uruguay 1, played 45 mins.
PREMIERSHIP: Liverpool 0 Charlton 0, played 90 mins.
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Liverpool 0 Benfica 2, played 90 mins, booked.
PREMIERSHIP: Arsenal 2 Liverpool 1, played 90 mins.
PREMIERSHIP: Liverpool 5 Fulham 1, played 90 mins.
PREMIERSHIP: Newcastle 1 Liverpool 3, played 74 mins, scored one.
FA CUP: Birmingham 0 Liverpool 7, played 71 mins.
PREMIERSHIP: Liverpool 3 Everton 1, played 18 mins, sent off.

APRIL 2006
PREMIERSHIP: Liverpool 1 Bolton 0, played 90 mins.
FA CUP: Chelsea 1 Liverpool 2, played 90 mins.
PREMIERSHIP: Liverpool 3 Aston Villa 1, played 90 mins, scored two.

MAY 2006
PREMIERSHIP: Portsmouth 1 Liverpool 3, played 90 mins.
FA CUP: Liverpool 3 West Ham 3 (aet — Liverpool win 3-1 on pens), played 120 mins, scored two.

*****

I've lost count

By Mark Irwin

FROM Llansantffraid to the Millennium Stadium — via Yokohama and Monte Carlo — Steven Gerrard’s epic season is finally approaching its end.

But the Liverpool skipper is determined to prolong his extraordinary long-playing record and extend his campaign to an astonishing 361 days.

For a season which started in the Brecon Beacons against Welsh minnows TNS on July 13 last year could yet reach an unforgettable climax at the World Cup final on July 9 in Berlin.

Gerrard, who celebrates his 26th birthday tomorrow [TODAY], has hardly had time to catch his breath since lifting the European Cup in Istanbul last year.

Tomorrow night he will play his 60th game of the season in England’s Old Trafford friendly against Hungary.

But the man acknowledged as one of the most dynamic midfielders in world football would not have it any other way.

England’s marathon man declared: “It’s been a long, hard season but that’s exactly what I want.

“I’ve lost count of the exact number of games I’ve played so far but I missed an awful lot of matches during the early part of my career through injury — so now I want to play as many times as I possibly can.

“I know a lot of people are saying I’ve played too much football lately and wondering whether I’ll be feeling burned out for the World Cup. But I’m really enjoying myself.

“My form has been good and I can promise everyone that I feel fine, fresh and ready to go.”
As well as the Champions League qualifiers, Gerrard’s extra-curricular activities this season have also included the European Super Cup in Monaco and the World Club Championships in Japan.

So it was hardly surprising that he looked dead on his feet after his superhuman two-goal efforts to snatch the FA Cup from West Ham in his last game two weeks ago.

He said: “I think I played that cup final two or three times before I even went out there. I’ve used up a lot of energy like that beforehand.

“Cardiff was also a really big pitch, the weather was really hot and it was really, really close for 120 minutes of the final game of the season.

“I also put a lot of effort in that day and that’s why I looked so tired at the end of that game.
“But I’ve had a bit of time at home with my family to recharge my batteries mentally and physically and now I’m ready to go again.”

In fact the week’s leave granted by boss Sven Goran Eriksson while the rest of the squad were training in the Algarve almost backfired on Gerrard.

He said: “My girlfriend gave birth to our daughter Lexy on May 9 so I told the manager I’d like to spend some time with them because they wouldn’t be able to fly out to Portugal.

“He was happy to give me the week off but with the new baby I was only getting bits and bobs of sleep.

“But the missus has been really good and lets me sleep in the spare room now and again!”

Now Gerrard is determined to make his mark on the biggest international stage of all after suffering disappointment at his last three tournaments.

At Euro 2000 he managed just 19 minutes as a second-half sub against Germany before injury ruled him out for the rest of the tournament.

Two years later, he missed the World Cup altogether following a groin op on the eve of the trip to Japan.

And even when he finally made it to Euro 2004 in Portugal, his most memorable contribution was a disastrous back pass which handed France a sickening stoppage-time victory.
Gerrard said: “The last World Cup was one of the lowest points of my career, it’s as simple as that.

“I’d just had surgery on my groin so I wasn’t really mobile enough to do anything. I had to stay at home and watch it on the TV, which was really frustrating.

“It hurt me so much, watching the boys out there playing football.

“Fingers crossed, this time I can stay fit and try to make up for missing out. Hopefully this time it will be good memories.

“I feel as though I’ve had a successful career up until now — but at the same time there is still a lot more to achieve.

“The Premiership, the World Cup. I’ve still got a load more dreams to fulfil and I will be giving it everything I’ve got to make them come true.

“I want as many medals as possible. I’m not going to settle for what I already have now and just stand still.

“This is the biggest stage to play on as a footballer and there would be nothing better than to bring that cup home.

“I’ve never played Brazil before, for instance — and I’m not sure you
can ever really look forward to playing them because they’re that good these days.

“But it’s a challenge I really relish and I do want to test myself against teams of that calibre.
“I’d like to think this is our strongest squad going into a World Cup. It’s certainly our most exciting one.

“I hadn’t seen a lot of some of the players until I met up with them last week but it’s really exciting and I’m just looking forward to getting out there and doing our stuff.”

Gerrard, who has now played an incredible 330 games over the last six years, has also scored a career-best 22 goals this season.

The 40-cap star added: “Maybe I haven’t always been able to give my best for England. I think that’s about being moved around.

“There’s been talk of me playing in the second striker’s role in Wayne Rooney’s absence and all kinds of other positions.

“What I can say is that I’m ready to play in whatever role the manager asks of me — whether that’s on the right, the left, off the striker, holding or midfield.

“It’s difficult at this level to adapt straight away but my form is really good for Liverpool and wherever the manager wants me to play, I’ll give it my best.”

MANTRA:

2006-05-29T19:09:00.000+08:00

Do I Make You Proud?

2006-05-29T18:53:00.000+08:00

I've never been
The one to raise my hand
That was not me
and now that's who I am
Because of you
I am standing tall

My heart is full
of endless gratitude
You were the one
The one to guide me through
Now I can see
And I believeIt's only just beginning

This is what we dream about
But the only question with me now
Is do I make you proudS
tronger than I've ever been now
Never been afraid of standing out
Do I make you proud

Everybody needs to rise up
Everybody needs to be loved
To be loved

*****

Thanks to Taylor Hicks.

This question has now become the beacon in my life.

2006-05-29T18:36:00.000+08:00

I looked out of the balcony and thought to myself, "It's a nice night to die."

People ask me, "How are you?"

2006-05-29T18:23:00.000+08:00

I say, "NUMB."

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)

[Chorus]
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste is more than I can take

[Chorus]
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
And I knowI may end up failing too
But I knowYou were just like me with someone disappointed in you

Update on my life

2006-05-25T20:44:00.000+08:00

Just so everybody is clear, I'M STILL ALIVE. Just because I've stopped blogging for a day or two, doesn't mean I've completely abandoned my band of loyal followers. I'm just trying to fix my life because apparently it's not going in the direction that I've dictated it to. But I did want to do a quick post.

I was just insulted by our water cooler.

No, no. Not AT the water cooler. BY the water cooler. I like to watch the bubbles rise when I'm filling my cup with water and when this happened, the bubbles drew me to a vandal on the side of the water jug. It said: BIMBO. For a moment there I considered throwing down my cup of water and provoking the thing to fight. But I'm not THAT crazy. Thankfully, I realized that it had a good 10gallons on me before I even challenged the damn thing. Whew. Thank God I got out of THAT scrape.

Symptoms?

2006-05-19T22:47:00.000+08:00

While watching the sarcastic Hugh Laurie play the brilliant but insufferable House that tells patients they are just insane with the conditions that they come to him with, I started to well up inside. No, not because there was a tender moment between doctor and patient. And as far as I remember in the first season, the only patient relationship he ever cared for was with that crazy woman. Just goes to show you why I love him so. After I started welling up, I started tearing up. Unexplainable eh? Considering the episode was about drugs and steroid abuse. After I started tearing up, I started crying. Jesse Spencer or Dr. Chase should've snapped me out of that wet and embarassing path with his gorgeous accent but he didn't. And after I started crying, I really got into it and wept. (<-- I actually spelled that "weeped" the first time around. How pathetic is that?)

All this from watching House.

For the love of all that is mighty, someone tell me that these are the Second Trimester syndromes. Because if I'm supposed to be experiencing this all day long, I better keep a box of tissues or towels around the house and in the office. Frankly, as much as I'd want to delve into these complex emotions surrounding my pregnancy and the beautiful life that I am supposed to be bringing into this world, it's getting a bit tiring sending my tear ducts into overdrive everytime I see pregnant women, babies, happy families, or 50 First Dates.

A line has to be drawn somewhere.
Or a drug has to be administered some time soon.

Stupid Girls

2006-05-18T19:43:00.000+08:00

No, this isn't about Paris or Hohan.

In a moment of weakness, I leafed through one of the issues of FHM. I know that was a stupid move. In the state that I am in (physically, emotionally), I was SO not ready to handle that just yet. I know that I'm supposed to be..err..gaining a couple of pounds and a couple of inches because I'm a mommy-to-be but goddamnit! Why couldn't I have just resisted?! I am such an idiot. I should've just thrown it out or stuffed it at the back of my closet. But noooo. I just had to see all the half-nekkid babes walk around the beach and strut and pose in some absurd way.

GAAAH!

Nothing in my closet fits me anymore and that is majorly pissing me off! Not because nothing fits me, but because what USED to fit me doesn't fit me!!! I know that might sounds insane at the moment, but trust me, from where I am sitting, I think that this is a perfectly sane thought. Why, oh why was I such an idiot?! Damn. I am going to be an selfish mother, aren't I? I mean, I'm supposed to be struck with baby fever and here I am thinking that I am never fitting into my size1 jeans anymore! Here I am, sitting at the computer, whinning away at how my body and my life will never be the same again while there's another life to take care of. I mean, how un-motherly is that?!

GAAAH!

I am sick.
Truly I am.
Poor kid.
I guess, I better start saving up for it's therapy bills.

This is it folks: SECOND TRIMESTER

2006-05-18T14:30:00.000+08:00

Aches and Pains and Cramps — Oh My!

One side effect of all your recent uterine growth is what amounts to pregnancy growing pains (known in the obstetrical business as “round ligament pain”) — felt as achy or sharp pains on one or both sides of the abdomen.

Great news! You're starting your second trimester — (almost) every pregnant woman's favorite…and for good reason. With many first trimester pregnancy woes waning, chances are good that you're starting to feel a little peppier and a lot more human. You may also be starting to show (if you haven't already started), which means (a) it may be time to start hitting those maternity boutiques, and (b) you may actually finally look pregnant — not just like you've eaten too much for lunch. That's because your uterus is finally rising out of the pelvic region and into your lower abdomen. You might even be able to feel the top of your uterus (the fundus) if you press down right above your pelvic bone in your lower abdomen. How cool is that!

For some women, one side effect of all this uterine growth is what amounts to pregnancy growing pains (known in the obstetrical business as “round ligament pain”) — felt as achy or sharp pains on one or both sides of the abdomen. Here's why these pains in the abdomen happen: The uterus is supported by thick bands of ligaments that run from the groin up the side of the abdomen (like the lines of that high-cut bikini bottom you've probably had to pack away by now). As your uterus grows, the supporting ligaments stretch and thin out to accommodate the increasing weight. This weight pulls on the ligaments and causes a sharp pain or a dull ache in your lower abdomen. The pain is often more noticeable when you change positions suddenly or get up from sitting or lying down, or when you cough. Kicking up your feet (though not literally) and resting in a comfortable position usually brings relief.

*****

Finally I will feel human again. But the muscle pains make me feel like I'm working a construction worker's 12-hour shift. At least I will have the ultimate excuse to go shopping and buy new clothes! Yippeee! And this time, people won't think that I've just been over-indulging myself on my favorite foods.

Now the hard part..where to start shopping.

2006-05-18T14:14:00.000+08:00

Which Trainspotting Character Are You?

Quick question

2006-05-17T20:00:00.000+08:00

Yeah, I just want to know what you take for a splitting headache but not want to harm the unborn growing inside of you? I am THIS close to ramming my head against the wall. But I'm afraid that the wall isn't strong enough to take the beating I have in mind. I've been banging my head on the office keyboards so hard that the keys are coming off. Now I just have the letters T, S, Q, and Scroll Lock left. How the fuck is that supposed to help me now?!

GAAAAH!

I feel like my skull is about to split in half. Veins and capillaries in my brain are pulsating at high speeds just to and any moment now they're going to pop. Blood is going to be spurting all over my monitor. Ah..through rose-colored glasses.

2006-05-16T13:12:00.000+08:00

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Mara!

Some hotels in Las Vegas have Mara floating in their swimming pools.
You would have to dig through four thousand kilometres of Mara to reach the earth's core.
Mara will become gaseous if her temperature rises above -42°C.
Mara can only be destroyed by intense heat, and is impermeable even to acid.
Mara is the world's smallest mammal.
The Mara-fighting market in the Philippines is huge - several thousand Mara-fights take place there every day!
During severe windstorms, Mara may sway several feet to either side.
The porpoise is second to Mara as the most intelligent animal on the planet.
Mara is the only metal that is liquid at room temperature.
Mara became extinct in England in 1486.

2006-05-15T18:54:00.000+08:00

To be a father to a beautiful baby girl again..

The FA Cup..

And finally..

THE WORLD!

LONG LIVE STEVEN GERRARD!

Daughter to Father

2006-05-15T18:03:00.000+08:00

I know the title is a rip-off.
Bite me.

*****

Do you want to know why?

You are not the only one hurting in this relationship. Believe it or not, we’ve been through hell and back as well. It might not have been important for you to actually be there when we were kids but it mattered the world to us. You were there all right, your money was there. And you never let us forget that. You lord it all over us like it was something we were supposed to clamor for.

Do you know what you make me feel?
Instead of feeling like a papa’s girl or someone’s little princess, you made me feel like a cattle. A prized cattle, but a cattle nonetheless. You never let us forget that you provided for everything we could ever need. You branded us everytime we forgotten your generosity. I never felt like that provision came from love. I always felt your affections and attention as either reward or punishment.

I’m sure you were the perfect child that respected and loved your parent whole-heartedly. I’m sure you compare yourself to every golfing buddy that you have and tell each other what the standards of your clique ought to be. Sorry for you that your children never attained that glory that everyone else’s has. Sorry that you had a harder time disciplining them compared to the other fathers. Sorry that they would rather open up to other people’s fathers than their own.

The sad thing is, we genuinely love you and always wanted to make you proud. Even if it meant leaving our own “shallow” happiness behind. We didn’t care that our parents didn’t get along. I thought that was how it was supposed to be. That was the truth when I was growing up. But you taught me to be brave while you weren’t there. Or never to rely on anyone. You told me never to cry and fight back for something that I wanted. In essence, you erased all usefulness of an authority figure or a role model. I needed no one. And that is one lesson that I take to my grave from you. I thank you for that.

I also thank you for being so fucking unfair to your children. Parents aren’t supposed to have favorites. And even when they do, they aren’t supposed to show preference IN FRONT of their children. What tactic was that, dad? Hard love? Was there any other kind that I ever got from you? Not that that didn’t piss me off and spur me on. Because I knew that I wasn’t entirely the best daughter, I knew I had to fucking WORK for you affection. I never stopped pleasing you, not even when you said that you’d love me even if I weren’t smart or perfect. I wanted to prove to you and everyone else that I can be just as good as anyone else JUST FOR YOU.

Nothing I did was for my own benefit. Nope. I wasn’t thinking about making honor roll, going to college so very far away, moving to another fucking country, but I did it all just so you could see that I could. I wanted to prove you wrong. That you were loving just one daughter when in fact, you had two. And please don’t give me that bullshit knowing that I was tough enough to make it. Because I wasn’t. It’s called pretending. It’s called selling your self-esteem, your pride, your personal happiness, just to prove ONE MAN wrong and right at the same time. That messed with my head so bad, I think I really need therapy right now.

As many questions as you have for me right now, triple them and you will find the burning questions within my own heart. Because I never understood why I had to be perfect to be loved. Because I never understood, why it’s not okay to make mistakes. Because I never understood, why your age could easily trump my logic. Because I never understood how parents could be so unfair.

I might not be the perfect parent. I doubt that anyone really is. But I can tell you , with all my conviction, that I made a better job of raising my own sister than you ever did. Not because you failed to provide food, shelter, and clothing. But because you never really gave of yourself because you thought it would be too heart-breaking not to see your dreams come true in your children. Let me tell you one thing, that you might have overlooked. YOUR CHILDREN ARE NOT YOUR SECOND CHANCE.

You only see my fuck-ups because I let you. After all this time, I finally just decided for you to see the best and worst of me. Unfortunately, you only see the worst. This will also serve as a warning. As goody-goody as the favorite daughter might seem to be, aka my sister, she is having problems of her own that you have no fucking idea about. Save your “have I been a bad father?” speeches because there will be many more to deliver in the future.

The only thing that I am grateful for is that at least my sister won’t go through the same thing as I did with you. Added to the fact that she is the golden child of the family, you’ve already practiced your bad fathering skills with me. Thus, I leave her in your capable and learned hands.

Too bad that you will never see how much we really love you. You’re just too busy seeing the worst in things and the worst in people. WE ARE NOT CATTLE. We are not here for you to brand or parade. We are grateful for the provision, but we are NOT grateful for the abuse that we have to suffer for it.

End rant.
Shoot self.

..said a friend.

2006-05-11T19:16:00.000+08:00

"and so, the female homo sapien experienced cravings more powerful than the land, and the male stopped waiting for fruit to drop from the trees and began gathering. then came cultivation and mass production to feed an exponential rise in population. all these developments to feed a childbearer's tongue. she must have what she asks, then."

*****

thanks, mark.

"Care to dance?"

2006-05-10T17:59:00.000+08:00

I had the stangest dream.

Liverpool came to town. MY town. To play a friendly with our squad.
WTF?! We have a squad worthy to be pitted against LIVERPOOL?!
This is DEFINITELY a dream.

I was looking forward to meeting Steven, even in my dreams.
I did get an autograph from him. What a total groupie.

But not before John Arne Riise unexpectedly walked up to me and asked me if I wanted to dance. Who am I to say know to a Liverpudlian?
It was lovely and we tore up the dance floor.

And then he copped a feel.

What the fuck?!

The England WILDCARD

2006-05-10T17:54:00.000+08:00

Meet Theo Walcott.

Uh-huh.

He's one of Sven's 23men to take to Germany.

He's newly signed to Arsenal from Southhampton.

And he's only 17.

Underage fresh meat.
You can just hear the vultures circling..

*wink* *wink*